Wildest Dreams (Rogue Dream Fae Book 3) Read online

  Gilla’s face goes hard. “I’ll hurt whoever I have to in order to protect my soul bond.”

  “I’m not your soul bond,” I say back, trying to resist shouting and bringing her warriors running. “Why on earth do you still think that?”

  “You know we don’t see you in our dreams like warriors see queens,” Gilla says. “But I know when I see you. Ever since I knew you existed, I knew you were meant to be mine.” Her eyes run over me. “My mother always said I was meant for the best warriors, and yes, I’ve accumulated a few. But you’re a curiosity, Jerrek.” Her eyes narrow as she smiles wickedly. “You’re the only one I want.”

  “I’m asking you to let this go,” I say, my hands clenching in fists. “To drop the duel, to drop the reservation. In the name of the Great Connector, how could you possibly want someone who doesn’t want you back? Why are you trying so hard to convince me when I know we aren’t meant to be together?”

  She cocks her head at me, grinning slightly. “Isn’t that what you’re trying to do with that human?”

  I blink. “What?”

  “You keep trying to convince her. She’s basically a human, you know, after living in that world. You’ll never fit well together.”

  “I already fit better with her than I ever would with you,” I spit back. I turn to go. “I can see this is futile. I’m sorry for even visiting.”

  “It was good to see you,” she says. “Good to remind myself of the caliber of warrior I’m getting. A real fighter. If I were you, I’d try to talk that little human into conceding and leaving.” Her lips pull back, baring a feral grin. “Because I’m not averse to killing her in our duel to get what I want.”

  I look back over my shoulder to face her. “You won’t win. And if you hurt my mate, you’ll see just how unruly I can be.”

  Then I leave, wondering why I even tried to talk some sense into her in the first place.

  The entire time I walk back to my castle, my mind is racing with everything Gilla said.

  Her eyes burning with passion as she said we were meant to be together. That she knew it even if I didn’t.

  Those words seem to echo in my mind, and I realize that’s exactly how I’ve been talking to Sandra.

  Like I know already, so she should, even when she says she doesn’t.

  When she makes love to me, it’s heaven. I’ve known she was attracted to me from the start. Since the dance we did at that club to send our mates into thrall.

  But it makes sense for the warrior that’s only renowned for sexual prowess to be able to connect with his mate sexually.

  But how do I get to her heart?

  I sit down under a group of trees covered in multicolored flowers and think about Lorien and Reve. Where are they now? I could use their help.

  As if called, two columns of smoke appear in front of me. One purple-blue, one green.

  Lorien and Reve step forward, both looking concerned. They’re wearing human clothes, and I smile at them.

  “Reve, Lorien,” I say, standing and meeting them both in a group hug. We hold each other for a long moment, then step back. “Where are your mates?”

  “They’re fine. Together. The four of us were hanging out, wondering how you were doing in the dream realm, and we felt a pull on our bond with you,” Lorien says. “You helped both of us win our mates. We want to help you too.”

  “I thought it would be pretty easy here,” Reve says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, it’s beautiful, and Sandra already seems to like you.”

  “It’s not Sandra that’s the problem,” I say, sinking back to the ground and resting against the tree again. “It’s Gilla.”

  Reve’s expression darkens, and Lorien shakes his head.

  “That crazy queen,” Lorien says. “Someone ought to put a stop to her.”

  “I hear she keeps her harem in chains,” Reve says. “We can look into it.”

  “It would never be allowed,” I say. “Merely rumors. However, she wants to duel Sandra.”

  Lorien cocks his head. “Tess had little trouble taking on Artena.”

  “She loved you,” I say sullenly. “Sandra is attracted to me, even having fun with me, but she’s not in love with me.”

  “I think she is. More than she thinks,” Lorien says. “Besides, you’ve been here with her for a few days. Have you asked her lately?”

  “No,” I say. “I’m trying not to rush her any more than having a week’s deadline is rushing us both.”

  “Go talk to her,” Reve says. “Really try to see what her feelings are.”

  “We mostly have sex,” I say. “And talk about our families. We don’t talk a lot about feelings with each other. Besides, even if she wants me, this thing with Gilla is going to blow up in our faces. Gilla is strong.”

  “I know,” Lorien says. “You know none of us would let her take you.”

  Jerrek shrugs. “What are we supposed to do, turn on fae society?”

  “If we have to,” Lorien says.

  “It’s going to be fine,” Reve says, crouching in front of me and putting a hand on my shoulder. His vivid teal eyes are soothing and clear. “She’s your dream mate. She loves you, whether she knows it or not. Go tell her how much this is worrying you. Let her see this side of you, not just the cocky, sexy side.”

  “I don’t think it would matter,” I say. “She just thinks a week isn’t enough time.” I sigh. “And now I know how I sound to her, telling her constantly I know we were meant to be together, even when she says she doesn’t feel the same things.”

  “Should we bring Tess and Jen to see her?” Lorien asks.

  I shake my head. “I’m going to go talk to her. She’s going to be wondering where I went.” I stand, brushing off my tunic. “I just… don’t want to see her get hurt.”

  “She won’t get hurt if she loves you,” Lorien says. “So go find out.”

  I blink, realizing he’s right. Sandra and I have had many romantic moments, and I think I can see in her eyes that things are changing, but I’ve been afraid to find out more.

  And I need to.

  “All right, bring it in for a hug, and then I’m going,” I say as my friends come forward to embrace me.

  “You got this,” Reve says, thumping my shoulder. “Soon, we’ll all be celebrating, either here or in the human world, right?”

  “Just a few more days,” Lorien says. “We’ll be on call if you need us.”

  Then they disappear, and I head back to my palace, ready to see my mate.

  16

  Sandra

  I wake up to Jerrek gently patting my arm, calling my name.

  The best sound in the world, I think, sitting up with a groan and looking into the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen.

  Why does it seem like every day he gets even more beautiful?

  His wine-colored eyes are thoughtful and warm as he steps back to let me get my bearings.

  “So tall,” I say, peering up at him.

  “Yup,” he says, reaching forward to pick me up in his arms. He sets me down in front of the armoire and pulls out a robe for me to put on over my nightgown. “Come out on the balcony. I have breakfast set out.”

  Blearily, I rub my eyes, then slide the robe on. Bright morning sunlight streams into the room, and I put up a hand, squinting as I block it. “What time is it?”

  “Late morning,” he says. “Should I have let you sleep in more?”

  “No,” I say, not wanting to miss more time with him. “I was just tired after dueling lessons, I think.”

  I sit down, and he serves me normal-looking pancakes and syrup, plus toast and fruit.

  “Thought you might like something familiar,” he says, sitting across from me in a sleeveless tunic that shows off his powerful, roped arms.

  God, I want to touch him.

  “Sandra, if it’s okay, I had some things to tell you while you eat.”

  I nod. “Go for it.” I pick up a piece of toast to butter it.

  �
�I went to see Gilla,” he says.

  “What?” I nearly drop my toast.

  “I only visited her formally at her castle to ask her to call off the duel. I didn’t want you to get hurt, hoping if I just opened up to her and told her once and for all that I don’t want her and I want her to back off, she would. I was wrong.”

  I frown. “I don’t like that you went without me.”

  “I know,” I say. “But I had to try, if there was any way to lessen the risk of her hurting you. And that brings me to my next point.”

  “Okay,” I say hesitantly.

  “While I was there, she kept talking about how we were made to be together, whether I knew it or not. And it made me think of how I talked to you before. Presumptuous.”

  I nod. “A bit.”

  “Because if you don’t know, it doesn’t matter what I know.” His eyes rise to mine. “And I just wanted to know how you do feel about me, after the past few days together. Since the week is up soon.”

  I suck in a breath, and warm morning breeze wafts by me. I’m surrounded by beauty everywhere in this realm, but especially when sitting across from Jerrek.

  I know for a fact no one will ever make my body feel like he does.

  And if I’m honest, my heart is in this too.

  I can’t imagine a world without him. As soon as I pulled out my whip, saw the proof of my love, I was a goner.

  Whether we live in this world or not, whether I have to quit my job or relocate my mom (who seems to be doing great here anyway), I still want this man.

  I can’t imagine being with another or living my life without him.

  It only makes me fall even harder that he empathized with how I feel about being rushed or told I should know something I don’t.

  I reach across the table to hold his hand, knowing this isn’t something I can do without being serious.

  But I think I know my heart enough to know when I’m in love.

  “I’m falling for you, Jerrek,” I say, squeezing his larger hand as his eyes meet mine, shocked. “I do love you, I think, as crazy as it is that it can happen in only a few days.” I sigh. “I loved making love in the human realm. I loved it when you saved me from being killed. I loved riding through the stars with you.” I pause, getting my thoughts together. “I love your silliness and fun, the power you have, even if it’s hard to control. I love everything about you, so much that it scares me.” I meet his eyes finally. “Does that answer your question?”

  He stands up and comes around the table to bend over me, stealing my lips in a kiss so hot my entire body seems to sizzle.

  His tongue swipes through my mouth, twisting with my tongue and sending little ribbons of heat through me.

  “I’m so glad to hear it, soul bond,” he says, pulling back and leaving our lips a hair’s breadth away. “Does this mean we can be mated?”

  I nod, realizing there’s no need for hesitation anymore. Jerrek really is as good as he says, despite the odds against anyone this perfect existing.

  But I’m a logical person, and there’s no reason to hold back any longer just because I’m paranoid.

  Jerrek isn’t like my dad. He’s not putting on a facade to win me. I feel that in his touch, his words.

  I can trust him.

  I reach up and pull him down for another kiss. This one is longer, and fae birds sing in the background as the trees and bushes rustle in the wind.

  Despite everything, I’m just so happy. I don’t care if I have to duel. I know I’ll win. Because I truly love this man, more than I thought I could ever love another person.

  And acknowledging it only seems to make my feelings stronger.

  “I’m so glad,” he says, cupping the back of my head. “I’ll tell my mother. We’ll cancel the reservation. Of course, there will still be a duel, but I’m not worried. Tess won hers.”

  “I’ll keep practicing,” I say. “Until the end of the week. We’ll tell everyone then.”

  “Okay,” he says, looking slightly hesitant. “The end of the week.” He exhales roughly. “I’m just so glad, Sandra. We were born to be together. I know I can make you the happiest woman alive if you let me.” His arms wrap around me. “How did I get so lucky to have you for my mate?”

  “I’m the lucky one,” I say, truly meaning it.

  He just gives me a look that says I better finish my breakfast because he’s about to show me how lucky I am in the bedroom, over and over.

  Damn, I’m glad this fairy came into my life. I’ll fight like hell to make sure I never lose him.

  17

  Sandra

  Something is off. I just woke up in the middle of the night, jolted by a noise. My heart is pounding, and I have no idea why. Earlier today, Jerrek and I decided to be together. We made love and went to bed, and everything was wonderful.

  I turn over in bed, looking for Jerrek next to me in the darkness.

  He’s not there.

  My heart starts pounding, and I don’t even know why as I walk to the door that leads out of the bedroom and peek both ways down the hall.

  Where would he have gone? And why in the middle of the night?

  Everything is finally going well between us. I’ve agreed to be with him. He’s been amazing, so I don’t see why I shouldn’t.

  Sometimes life just offers you amazing opportunities, and you have to take them.

  Plus, I can’t stand the thought of Gilla having him.

  I hear voices, one of them very familiar, and my eyes narrow as I creep along the bannister that overlooks the foyer below. I peek through the rails and see a couple standing on the marble below, lit only by the moonlight streaming through the windows.

  They look like they’re dancing, folded in each other’s arms, though as I look closer, I can see that they’re embracing.

  I can’t make out much about them in the dark, so I creep toward the stairway and peek around it to look.

  The woman is facing my way, her face on a man’s shoulder, and when her eyes meet mine, I have to clap a hand over my mouth to stifle a gasp.

  It’s Gilla, and her cruel eyes gleam even in the darkness as her hand plays in her partner’s hair.

  His maroon hair.

  My heart feels like it’s being lit on fire as I study the tall, muscular figure embracing Gilla in the dark.

  That’s definitely Jerrek. I’d know those back and shoulder muscles anywhere.

  I want to yell, shout, go over to them and start a fight, but my heart is just quietly burning to ash in my chest as Gilla and Jerrek begin to kiss again.

  All I can remember is my mom, seeing her cry, seeing her beg my dad to stop, humiliating herself waiting for the love she never should have had to ask for.

  I don’t want to be the same.

  I guess I am in some ways because I fell for a too-charming man, and as soon as he got my word about wanting him, as soon as he felt everything was fine, I guess he decided to have his cake and eat it too.

  Perhaps this whole reservation business is bullshit.

  So why don’t they just end up together? Why would he be doing this now, like this?

  I want to run and grab them, pull them apart, beg him to explain.

  I also want to sit here and watch, to convince my lovesick heart to listen to my brain for once.

  This man doesn’t love me. If I interrupt him now, there will be apologies, lies, gaslighting.

  I can even hear his groans in the dark as she reaches down and squeezes his butt.

  I want to kill her!

  Dammit, how could I be so stupid? Men are cheaters. Men aren’t faithful. They want you until they get you. Then they move on.

  Or he just couldn’t say no. Gilla is beautiful.

  Tears are streaming down my cheeks, and I realize I have no idea where to even go from here.

  Gilla meant for me to see this, I think as I creep back to the room, staying out of sight.

  Was she doing me a favor or trying to attack me?

  I truly do
n’t belong here. I don’t understand this world. If fae are so moral, why is my soul bond down there making out with another?

  My soul bond. My heart clenches painfully as I realize I know Jerrek is mine now more than ever.

  Dammit, why do women have to fall in love and stay in love long after men move on?

  I walk back to the room, hoping this was all an illusion, a dream, and Jerrek will be back in bed soon. But when I get back to bed, he isn’t there.

  I’m too hurt to move, too hurt to do anything, so I just huddle in the covers and hope morning comes soon.

  Then I’ll confront him and demand to move on. But for now, my heart hurts so much, and I feel so damn stupid that I just want to sleep.

  I never should have fallen in love this quickly. I never should have agreed to come to this world with this man.

  I shouldn’t have broken my rules and let him win me. Once he had me, he didn’t have to behave anymore.

  I feel so stupid, remembering how I told him that men wear masks. He must have thought it was so funny, knowing he was doing the same.

  I feel so triggered. I don’t want to be my mother. I won’t choose someone like my father, even if it means staying alone forever.

  I won’t ever make this mistake, ever again.

  18

  Jerrek

  When I wake up, my mate is out of bed, pacing by the window, looking glorious in the moonlight.

  Yesterday, she agreed we could be together. She’s going to win the duel. Nothing stands in our way anymore.

  Then she turns to me, her dark curls unruly, her dark eyes glinting in the low light.

  Now I’m not so sure.

  She looks furious.

  I push out of bed to walk over to her, reaching out my arms. I had beautiful dreams about her and can’t wait for them to continue in real life.

  Can’t wait to make her feel good again.

  But she jerks back, stepping onto the balcony, eyeing me now almost as if she’s afraid of me.

  “Don’t touch me,” she says softly, a deadly tone in her voice.