Felix Read online

  Felix

  Terry Bolryder

  Copyright © 2019 by Terry Bolryder

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Contents

  Author’s Note

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Epilogue

  Also by Terry Bolryder

  Author’s Note

  Wait! This is the fourth and last book in the Club Crimson series, so you may want to read the first books before you continue. Each of my books has a new couple and a happy ending, but some plot points will make more sense if you read them in order!

  Here are the first two books:

  Max (Club Crimson Book 1)

  Lock (Club Crimson Book 2)

  Benny (Club Crimson Book 3)

  Happy reading!

  Terry

  Chapter 1

  She knew him the minute she saw him, though it had been so many years.

  So much waiting. So much planning.

  Yet when she blinked, all of that faded, and all she saw was the man from her youth.

  A youth that had been cruelly stolen.

  Now he was going to pay. He was going to… look over at her.

  Those purple eyes, shaded by heavy lashes, froze her as she stood across the room, watching him as he sat at the bar.

  Did he remember her? Was she just one of many he’d loved and lost?

  Recognition flickered in his eyes, and she felt her heartbeat quicken, making her slightly nauseated as she tried to remain calm.

  Tried to show nothing as his eyes slowly scanned her up and down.

  She took a moment to study him as well, to see how he had changed from when he was barely more than a teenager.

  His body was even taller than she remembered, and the large, defined musculature was still there, as was the incredible beauty he had always possessed.

  The beauty that fooled everyone.

  Had anyone else been as captivated as she was? Even now, she was glad for the change in her scent, or he would have detected her body longing for him. For his touch.

  But it was too late for that.

  The music pounded all around her, making everything feel surreal. Was she really seeing him after all these years? Was he really within her grasp?

  She palmed a long knife she had hidden in a pocket.

  Today, things would finally be fair.

  His eyes were slightly unfocused as he looked at her, and then, to her shock, he turned away, shaking his head as he did so.

  She felt like someone had dropped a rock in her stomach. Of all the reactions she had expected when he saw her, that was the last one.

  Did she mean so little to him that he could just turn away so easily?

  The knife felt so warm in her hand.

  Her view was blocked when a man stepped in front of her, asking her to dance. She shook her head quickly, not sure what about her all-leather ensemble, combined with her short hair and intense resting bitch face, would attract someone.

  She waited impatiently as the man sought another partner and then craned her neck to catch a glimpse of Felix again.

  He was gone.

  She took a step back, unsettled, wondering if he’d switched position in order to catch her off guard. He’d been a legendary assassin even when she’d first known him. After so many years, his skills would have only increased.

  Deep inside, somewhere beneath her cracked heart, she still admired him.

  Bitterly, though.

  She turned in a slow circle, peering through the countless swirling, writhing bodies in the dimly lit club, all swaying to the music. She searched for a glimpse of white hair, thinking every second that she saw it, then was proved wrong.

  She kept her hand on her knife as her heart rate began to increase even more, and a bittersweet trance song began to boom over the speakers.

  She felt pulled into the past, into so many memories, keenly aware that Felix was somewhere in this room.

  Or had been.

  He wouldn’t have left, would he?

  And then the scent of lavender drifted over her, and she whirled around just as she felt one strong hand settle on her shoulder.

  Her knife was at his ribs instantly, and it was all she could do not react to the scent that had always been the most erotic of her life.

  It didn’t matter that she just wanted to be pressed against him. He had betrayed her and nearly caused her to lose her life.

  “Go ahead and stab me,” Felix said, and his voice was raspy, sensual, and filled with longing in a way that echoed something she didn’t want to acknowledge in her heart. “I know you’re a ghost, but you can stab me. Just let me touch you.” His hand found her hair and pushed it back, heedless of the way her knife was shaking against his chest.

  God, he felt good. The touch of his hand made something light up in her. Something she’d thought was long dead. She’d been thinking of revenge so long that she hadn’t had time to desire anyone. Not since him.

  Maybe it would always be him.

  He lowered his head to breathe in her scent, holding her tight and pulling her in against him, and she remembered just how much bigger he was, how safe she had felt in his arms.

  What an illusion. Just like everything else about him.

  She looked up into his face, seeing an adult there. Lines under his eyes that hadn’t been there before. That perfect nose, lips, jaw, and cheeks that looked like they had been designed by a master artist into sheer masculine beauty that bordered on angelic.

  His full lips were tight, and his purple eyes were full of pain. And there was a faint scent mingling with the lavender… Alcohol?

  He lowered his head again and wrapped his arms tighter around her as if his goal were to bring her in so close that they could be merged into one.

  And it ached in a part of her heart that she liked it. That it really had felt so good between them and they had lost it all those years ago.

  They could have been together. They could have…

  He caught her hair gently and tilted her head back, studying her face with tenderness she hadn’t even seen when she knew him before. Like he was seeing an old friend, someone he missed so badly.

  Someone he hadn’t expected to see again.

  He had called her a… ghost?

  “Sweetheart,” he said softly. “Have you come for me?” He looked at the room around him. “I’m ready.” He moved in closer against her knife, and she gasped as she felt it slightly pierce him.

  She looked up at him in shock, seeing for the first time the hollow look in his violet eyes, the way his face no longer held the spark of his youth.

  He’d given up somewhere along the way. She’d pictured him climbing the ladder, becoming renowned, enjoying every privilege the Tribunal could offer, even as she had suffered.

  That didn’t appear to be the case.

  He caught the other side of her head, stroking her hair and completely tra
pping her face so she was forced to look up at him.

  She’d become stronger in his absence, but he was still a force of nature, something she didn’t know how to resist. She’d been foolish, thinking any mission involving him could be easy.

  She pulled back the knife and set it in its sheath in her pocket. There would be no killing tonight.

  “Pity,” Felix said, lowering his mouth so his lips were just above hers, speaking in a way that made her tingle from head to toe as the crowd swirled around them, uncaring. “I guess I’ll have to be happy with only this moment, since you won’t take me with you.”

  His lips ghosted over hers, testing, teasing, as if trying to decipher if she were real. Then they rested on hers, fitting as perfectly as they always had.

  As if they were made for one another like she’d once thought.

  His arms slipped down to encircle her again, holding her close in a dark echo of the way they used to be together, the way she used to run into his arms.

  His tongue pushed at her lips and then slid in, seeking each warm crevice as his hands explored her waist and hips and her whole body grew heated and limp in his arms.

  All those years waiting and raging, she never guessed she’d respond to him like this, as though they’d never been apart, if she ever was pulled into his arms again.

  Of course she had dreamed of him, of him coming to rescue her, for so many nights while she’d been in so much pain.

  But then it had been clear that life had moved on, and the handsome assassin she’d thought had cared about her didn’t care so much at all.

  Even if she died.

  He groaned against her lips, gripping her hips and pulling her tightly against him, making it hard to think straight, let alone breathe.

  Then he pulled back, keeping their faces together.

  “It’s been forever, sweetheart. I don’t care if you’re not real.” He curled one finger around the shell of her ear, still touching her like he didn’t believe she was there.

  It slowly sank in that he really thought she was some kind of illusion.

  With their history and how things had ended, what kind of illusion was that to have?

  How could he seem so happy to see her?

  He grabbed her hand, pulling her through the crowd toward the back door in a haze of sex and lavender.

  When they were outside the club, out of the view of cars, with mist falling all around them, he spun her so her back was to the wall. Then he pinned her there with both hands on either side of her head as if he were afraid to touch her but couldn’t stand to let her go.

  Then he leaned in, sealing his lips over hers again, more aggressively this time, and when he seemed confident she wouldn’t disappear, his hands dropped to intertwine with hers, pinning them between her body and his as they kissed.

  She knew she should pull back, should pull her knife out, should do anything but what she was allowing, but she couldn’t.

  Just as before, her body wanted what it wanted, and it had always wanted Felix. It was her heart that was putting up resistance now, telling her to run before she was in more danger.

  But hadn’t he always kept her safe before?

  Until…

  She gasped, pulling back from his mouth, and he let out a low growl of frustration.

  “No,” Felix said. “This is my dream. Don’t hate me, even here. Though, you should…”

  She looked up at him, still breathing heavily. “Why should I?”

  He stroked her face. “Because I let you die. Because I wasn’t there for you. I wanted to be with you, but I was too late. Did you know that when you died? It has haunted me.” He stroked the shell of her ear and then trailed down along her neck. “I still dream of you, being able to touch you. See you. You’re calling out to me, but when I approach, you are vapor. My hand goes through you. I must be dying if I can touch you now.”

  His hand trailed over her collarbone. “I don’t care what’s happening right now. Perhaps I’ve finally gone mad. Perhaps the booze is finally working.” His fingers brushed over her shoulders, pushing her leather jacket back. “All I know is that it’s you and I need to touch you. It’s like I’m alive for the first time in so long.”

  Her heart ached as she saw the truth of it in his eyes, but she couldn’t afford to pity him.

  Not when he was the cause of everything wrong in her life.

  Still, she hadn’t been prepared to see him or for her body to long for him so desperately that she ached in a way that was unbearable.

  She hadn’t known their chemistry, or whatever had been between them (she’d thought it was love once), would linger on.

  His lips came down to her neck, softly kissing the exposed, wet-from-rain skin, making her gasp.

  “I’m making love to a ghost,” he said, not seeming to care that anyone could come around the corner or that the rain was beginning to pick up or that they were against an old brick wall. “I’ve been in a lot of odd situations, but this is the oddest, and I don’t even care.” He kissed her shoulder, smoothing her jacket back so he could kiss over the tops of her breasts.

  “Wait,” she gasped out, burning all over, unable to resist him despite knowing she’d come to see him with a knife. “What are we—”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never known with you. I just know that my heart began and ended with you, and I’ve never been the same. I’m so dark now, Diana. I’ve been dark for so long.”

  Her eyes widened, stinging as she fought back tears as she realized things would never be easy when it came to him.

  He’d caught her off guard when he first met her, and he was catching her off guard now. He always made things difficult. He pulled at her in a way she could never resist.

  But no matter what she had to do later, she couldn’t seem to pull back from him now. Love was too tied up in hate, and she knew now the only real reason for hating him was disappointed love.

  Just for now, she could have what she wanted. She could engage in whatever this illusion was. Have just a taste of everything that had been stolen from her.

  She wound a hand up around his neck and pulled him down for a harsh kiss.

  Chapter 2

  The Past

  Felix sheathed his katana as he approached the rustic little cabin that held his first mission objective.

  If his gut instincts were correct, he wouldn’t need the sword.

  Sometimes the Tribunal overreacted a bit to threats, and Felix suspected this was one of those times.

  Based on the remoteness of the location and the poor condition of nearby buildings, he suspected the local pack didn’t have the resources to do the kinds of things they were supposedly planning.

  But as the Tribunal’s top guard dog, it was his job to go out and check.

  Felix heard voices from inside the building and crept forward, crouching low to the ground as he approached to get a look inside and maybe overhear information.

  He could always put anyone who surprised him to sleep and come back another time.

  He was beneath a window, about to straighten to his full height and look inside, when he felt something sharp poking into his back.

  He let out a sigh as he slowly turned around, raising his hands.

  It wasn’t like him to get caught like this, but he supposed with shifters this unremarkable, he had probably let his guard down.

  His eyes widened and a snarky retort died on his lips as he looked at the person who had caught him.

  He hadn’t at all been expecting a girl.

  A beautiful girl, with smooth, dark skin, short, unruly hair, and expressive features.

  She kept her knife jabbed against his leather jacket, her dark eyes narrowed with pure hate. “Caught you, Tribunal dog.”

  Felix raised an eyebrow, not wanting to knock out such an interesting person. Most people who recognized him feared him. “Can I ask why I’m being caught?”

  Her left eye twitched, and she looked like she was having a hard t
ime staying fierce. “Because you’re a spy coming to kill us, obviously. Well, you won’t succeed.”

  Felix looked down at her, wondering how on earth she could think she could take him, even if she had caught him by surprise.

  He suspected her entire pack was being extremely naive about the Tribunal, and their chances against any of its members, let alone their most powerful up-and-coming assassin.

  Felix grinned. “What are you going to do to stop me? I assume you know who I am.”

  She shoved the knife closer. “Don’t talk back to me. I’m the alpha female here, and you’re just Tribunal filth, a race traitor.” She took a deep breath, then let out a loud whistle.

  A moment later, the door to the cabin slammed open and a huge, burly man stepped out, dressed in dirty flannel, flanked by two similarly large men.

  “Good job, daughter,” the man in front said.

  Felix inhaled the air and scented alpha. Weak alpha.

  The urge to put them all to sleep so he could continue to talk to this woman tugged at him gently, but he pushed it aside.

  He had work to do still.

  The man pulled out a gun, aiming it at Felix while he nodded for a man next to him to step up, holding rope. “He’s worth more to us alive. Tie him.”

  Felix scowled, hating that he had to give up control, even for a moment. But he could find out far more by being captured than he could by just taking them all out. Besides, he detested killing.

  Felix put his hands out, waiting for the man to tie him.

  The leader grinned, barely visible behind a dark beard. “Excellent. You’ve made this easy on us.”

  Felix’s eyes flicked to the woman who had caught him, presumably this man’s daughter.