Felix Read online

  She gasped as he flipped her over onto her back, straddling her, looking so powerful with all of his weight above her. Those hard thighs, that perfect torso, those strong arms.

  That face that had no right to be so beautiful.

  He looked over her and then unzipped her jeans before pulling them off her gently, moving out from over her as he went.

  When she was bare except for her panties, she saw his eyes narrow as his hand stroked her over the satin.

  Then with a swift move, he used his nail to cut them precisely and tore them away, leaving her bare beneath him.

  Then he was shoving her legs apart and lowering his head to kiss her in her most intimate area.

  She grabbed onto his hair, missing how long it used to be, and arched back with a moan.

  “Don’t stop,” she said as he laved eagerly at her clit, her folds, licking and kissing every inch of her as if he were starved for her taste.

  “I couldn’t if I wanted to,” he said against her mound, using his fingers to part her so he could flick his tongue against her entrance.

  His tongue was talented. It pushed into her, making her want something else inside her. So badly.

  She bucked against him, pushing her hips to his lips as he moved back to her clit, letting his finger press between her folds and then inside her. The feel of his lips and tongue grazing her clit while his finger stroked her G-spot was too much, and she came over the edge with a scream, her hands tightening in his hair.

  “Felix, yes.” She gasped, panting as he wrung every bit of her orgasm out of her, refusing to remove his finger or his mouth from her sensitive flesh.

  It made everything more intense, and she sighed against him, already desperate for more.

  He gave it to her. He’d always been a generous lover, more concerned with her pleasure than anything else. Had he learned that in his missions? Her hands tightened out of anger, and he looked up at her, perfect lips glistening with her juices.

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  “You’ve always been so good at this,” she said, panting. “I was just wondering why.”

  He frowned. “Does it matter? But no, it has nothing to do with my missions. I was so young when things got confusing. When things were done that I didn’t understand. I didn’t have control in those moments. I think that’s why I always love things with you. It’s so different. It’s just you and me, and I’m present and I want to please you for no other reason than because you’re mine.”

  He slid his mouth back over her, ran his tongue up her slit, and circled her clit gently, then sucked down, grazing her clit just barely with his lower teeth. “Mine.”

  “Yours,” she said, willing to say anything just to get him to keep going.

  And suddenly, it didn’t matter where he’d learned something or what his history was.

  It only mattered that he was Felix and he was making her feel incredibly good. Like nothing bad had ever happened in the past.

  Like she had always been with her first love.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he muttered against her clit. “Your taste, your smell. The look in your eyes, so hot and demanding.” He moved up and kissed her lips, and the taste of herself was erotic. “The way you don’t hold back from everything. The way you’re as eccentric as I am. The way you seek pleasure in just the way I want to give it.”

  He moved back between her legs as she let out a little growl. “The way you come apart when I lick you.” His tongue circled her clit gently, and she felt the pressure continue to build. It felt like she was flying, hovering high above the world, waiting for something.

  Then he sucked on her gently, kissing her like he would her mouth, tender and loving, and she came apart.

  She was filled with pleasure, filled with anger, filled with confusion that things could be so good and yet she could still hate him.

  But her hands simply held on to his hair, keeping his mouth over her center.

  When the last aftershock was over and her body felt wrung out with pleasure, she still wanted so much more.

  “Inside me,” she said hungrily.

  Felix grabbed a condom from the bedside. “With this I’m assuming. Though, I’d just as soon mate you if I’m—”

  She shook her head. “No mating. I can’t mate you, Felix. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” he said, kissing her lips as he pulled off his underwear and slid the condom on. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  Her eyes widened at the size of his erection, and her body went even wetter at the thought of how it would feel inside. How he could stretch her. How it felt like they were designed for one another.

  “I can’t believe you’re here with me,” he said as he positioned himself at her entrance, his hands braced on either side of her head.

  “I’m here.” She was so naked with him, and it felt so right, despite everything that had happened.

  If her compound ever found out about this, they would kill her.

  But without this, did she even really feel alive?

  She wrapped a hand around his neck and the other around his back, wanting to feel his thick muscles. “I need you. Come in.”

  He kept his eyes on hers as he slowly pushed inside her, and she closed her eyes in pleasure at the strong sensation that seemed to fill her whole body as he stretched her in every direction within.

  She’d forgotten what it felt like, though she’d tried to remember so many times.

  He was even bigger than she remembered, and the thrill of the tight fit between them made her heart pound and her breath catch in her chest.

  “Yes,” she murmured. “Feels so good, Felix.”

  He kissed her on the forehead. “I’m glad, love.”

  Then he began to move, and she felt sparks erupt behind her eyes from the sheer intensity of the sensation. There was nothing like it as he moved in and then out, leaving her achingly empty and then incredibly filled.

  Making her safe every time he came inside her. Making an almost painful pleasure build at the center of her legs.

  She held on to him, never wanting it to end, as he continued to stroke, moving faster, making the intensity climb higher.

  Her legs felt numb, her hands tingly, as she held on to him and focused on the intense pleasure building from deep within.

  Any moment, it felt like it would explode all over her, giving her pleasure she could barely withstand. She both dreaded and couldn’t wait for it, and as Felix increased his pace, watching her like she was everything, she felt her toes curl and her eyes roll back.

  It was the strongest orgasm of her life.

  She jerked forward, grasping him harder, calling his name desperately because the pleasure was so strong and she wanted to hear that he was really there.

  “I’m here, sweetheart,” he said, his voice hoarse and body rigid, his jaw tense with the effort of holding back.

  She thrust against him, writhing with her release. “Come with me. Just fall.”

  And he did.

  “Fuck,” he said as he went over the edge, jerking inside her. His whole body tensed with the force of it, and she watched him through the glazed eyes of her orgasm, wondering if there was anything more beautiful than his release.

  Than them coming together.

  Oh God, she had it bad for him. She always had.

  She slowly slumped back on the bed, releasing him as the last of his aftershocks moved against her wet heat.

  He pulled out, still keeping his hands over her, and then carefully rolled over to grab a towel. He jogged to the bathroom, and she let her arms fall over her head as she tried to breathe deeply, telling her body to calm down.

  It was heated. It was wonderful. She wanted to do it all over again, yet…

  She looked over at him as he came out of the bathroom totally naked, looking warrior-like as he always had.

  Those lips, those eyes. It was no wonder she couldn’t resist him.

  Her heart was pounding, an
d her body was slightly sore in a way that she’d craved for years. That would make her smile secretly later.

  When she returned to the compound.

  “Shit,” she said, pulling herself to a sitting position and wincing at how lightheaded she felt. “I shouldn’t have done this. I need to be back.” She shoved sheets out of her way, but Felix was there to stop her, grabbing her hands and gently pushing her back onto the bed.

  “Why do you look panicked? Where do you need to be back to?”

  She glanced into his eyes and lost her train of thought at the intense purple there. “I…”

  He stroked her face, pushing her hair back. “Don’t leave me. Not tonight. Let me hold you. We can talk or just be quiet or—”

  She pushed away from him, looking for her clothing. Now that the pleasure was fading, she remembered all the danger she was risking with what she’d just done. “I can’t. I can’t tell you, but—”

  He released her, his expression going cold and hard. “You can’t think I’m just going to let you go when you look terrified by something. I failed to protect you once, Diana. I won’t fail to do it again. If you’re caught up in something—”

  “I’m there because I want to be there,” she said, ashamed at how wet she still was. How much she still wanted him. How much she longed to curl up with him and just go to bed.

  To sleep in his arms after so many nights of restlessness.

  She had a feeling it would be a good sleep.

  She got off the bed and looked around for her clothing, feeling numb as she realized she no longer knew what she wanted.

  She wanted Felix. She wanted redemption. She wanted to figure everything out without hurting either of them.

  She wanted so many things that were no longer possible.

  After tonight, everything was messy.

  When she had changed into everything except for her torn underwear, she headed for his door, hoping that if she just avoided his eyes, he wouldn’t see her tears.

  He reached out a hand, grabbing hers and stopping her.

  When she faced him, she looked at him helplessly, and anger darkened his expression.

  He stepped forward, cupping her face in his. “Good God, who is doing this to you? You look terrified.”

  “I’m terrified of you,” she said, jerking her hand away. “Because you’re right. Because I can’t resist you. Because I did love you. Maybe I still do. I don’t know. Because I don’t know if you betrayed me, and because it’s too late even if you didn’t.” She put a hand on the doorknob behind her. “But I at least had to have one more night.”

  “Liar,” Felix said softly, stepping up and planting both hands on the door, keeping it shut so she couldn’t escape. “I have you again, Diana. I’m not going to make the same mistake.”

  “It’s not your choice,” she said. “Not this time.” But she didn’t lean away as he bent down to kiss her once again.

  This time, his kiss was softer, a gentle caress of his lips against hers, full of emotion that could only be expressed with such closeness.

  She kissed him back, feeling tears on her cheeks as she wondered what he would really think if he knew everything.

  But she needed to go. She needed to find a place to shower so the wolves wouldn’t scent him on her when she came back to check in.

  But it was hard to think of going back to them when things were so different, when she didn’t know if she could kill Felix at all.

  But she was pretty sure she couldn’t be with him either.

  She’d just wanted one more taste of what they’d had. Now that she’d gotten it…

  Ducking beneath his arm, she moved over to the window, pulling it open so she could head out. He glared at her as she looked over at him reluctantly. “Good-bye, Felix. For now.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I said you aren’t leaving me. Not like this.”

  She opened her mouth to argue, then cursed as lavender filled the air. “How dare you—” But that was as far as she got before she felt his arms gently catch her as everything went black.

  Chapter 11

  The Past

  Felix was still furious as he stared at Bernard’s prone body, even after punching it into the next dimension.

  He’d never been able to stand sexual assault or anyone being a bully, which was a bit ironic considering who he was forced to work for.

  But he’d never had a reaction like the one he’d had with Diana.

  He barely knew her, yet when he’d seen Bernard try to hurt her, he’d felt rage unlike anything in his life.

  It wasn’t even like his protectiveness over his sister, though that was strong and born of connection by blood.

  When he’d protected Diana, he’d felt a strong sense of “mine” that he hadn’t been able to even process.

  After all, nothing in his whole life, including his own body, had been allowed to just be his.

  He’d tried to suppress it, but it was impossible to deny now that he’d blown his cover and beaten up the beta of her pack.

  There was something between him and Diana that made all his logic and common sense go out the window.

  Was that how it felt to have a mate?

  His mind was still swirling as he heard Diana gasp, rushing to her dresser.

  “I need to change. I think my father is coming,” she said, pulling out a sweatshirt and jeans. “Oh God, should we put you back in your chair?”

  Felix looked over at the broken pieces. “I think that opportunity has passed.” He was a bit flattered that she was trying to help him.

  She finished pulling on her clothes as she walked to the door to open it. “Don’t hurt him,” she said. “He’s not a bad person. He just… went a little mad when my mom died.”

  “I don’t blame him,” Felix said. Truly, losing someone like Diana would be enough to wreck anyone.

  Before Diana could open the door, it slammed open, and she jumped out of the way just in time, caught by Felix who had run forward.

  “What in tarnation is going on in here?” Her father stormed in, glaring into the darkness. His eyes found the two of them, and hair sprouted from his arms as he began his transformation.

  “Father, stop,” Diana said, pushing out of Felix’s hold and stepping forward. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”

  Her father glanced at Bernard, seeing him for the first time slumped in a heap against the cracked wall. “Then what is happening? Because it looks like our guest murdered Bernard and is trying to claim you.”

  “Please. He has his pick of alpha females at the Tribunal. He wouldn’t want someone like me.”

  Wrong. He wanted her more than he wanted to punch Bernard again. And he wanted that quite a lot.

  Her father slumped in a chair by the door, running a hand through his hair. “I heard all the noise, and I was worried. I thought…”

  “Your beta is a piece of shit,” Felix said fiercely, taking a step forward. “He tried to rape her.”

  Her father looked up abruptly, a stricken look on his face. “Is that true?”

  Diana nodded slowly. “I think so. He didn’t get very far because…” Her eyes wandered to the pieces of the chair.

  Her father sighed. “Should have known we couldn’t actually handle a member of the Tribunal.” He glared at Felix. “You know, I still want to kill you, but now that you’ve saved my daughter, you’re making it hard.”

  “He’s not bad,” Diana said, stepping forward so she was directly in front of her dad. “He’s not trying to hurt us.”

  Dirk looked at Felix for confirmation. “Then why did he come as a spy?”

  Felix shook his head. “The Tribunal heard rumors of threats, and they sent me to check it out. I was already planning to tell them there was nothing to worry about. Once I convinced you that going after them wasn’t worth your time.”

  Her father sighed. “Avenging the one you love is always worth your time.”

  “Not against them,” Felix said. “It’s not worth
it. No one can take them. I’ve seen wolves try. It only leads to death and carnage.”

  Her father looked at Bernard again. “So what do we do now?”

  Felix leaned against a table, feeling tired now that the adrenaline was wearing off. “Well, you need to decide what to do with Bernard because Diana wouldn’t let me kill him. But also, I plan to stay around a few more days just so I can convince the Tribunal I’ve done a thorough report.”

  Her father looked weary. “I’ve made a mess of things. I’ve been so bent on revenge that I didn’t protect my own daughter.”

  “I’m okay,” Diana said, stepping forward. “It’s not your fault—”

  “I failed to protect you,” he said. “And I should have known. Bernard was getting too pushy about mating matters. He was frustrated with me for taking my time.” He looked at Diana. “I swear I know I haven’t been a good father, but I wanted you to be happy if it were possible. If anyone can be happy with the Tribunal in the world.”

  “What happened before isn’t going to happen again,” Felix said. “There won’t be any more dead alpha females due to the Tribunal. That whole situation was a mistake. Never supposed to happen.”

  “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” her father asked.

  “No,” Felix said. “But it means there’s no point in losing more of your life going after the people responsible. They can’t hurt you anymore. Not if you stay away from them.”

  “But it’s not right.”

  “It’s not.” Felix agreed. “But you have a daughter. A pack. A future, as long as you stop fighting.”

  Her father shook his head. “Fighting is all that’s left for packs outside the Tribunal. There aren’t enough resources to go around.”

  Felix frowned. “How you live is up to you. I’m just saying that I’ll leave you alone if you make a pack’s promise not to attack the Tribunal.”

  Her father stood abruptly. “So you’re still protecting them?”

  “I’m trying to protect you and Diana from yourself,” Felix said sharply. “I’m telling you this now. You will never win.”

  Her father’s gaze darkened, but he didn’t respond. “I’ll think about it. In the meantime, I suppose you can stay here. I won’t try to tie you up again. But I can’t guarantee you’ll ever get a pack’s promise.” He walked over to Bernard and grabbed him by the leg to drag him out. “I’ll take care of this asshole.”