Bear To The Bone (Bear Claw Security 1) Read online

  She sighed. “I don’t know, Cage. It’s been so long.”

  “All the more reason we should talk,” he said, pulling her toward the stairs that probably led to the bedroom.

  She hesitated, pushing her dirty-blond hair behind her ear nervously and dragging her feet. She looked gorgeous in a soft flannel button-up and worn jeans that accented her short, curvy body. Just perfect for him.

  Could he be perfect for her?

  “Wait,” she said. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”

  He faced her. “Ready for what?”

  “There are so many memories,” she said. “Being alone with you, up in my room… It’s where we spent most of our time. Even if it’s a different room, it’ll bring all of that back.”

  “Is that so bad?” he asked quietly. “I want it all back.”

  She shrugged, looking lonely. “Some of it was good, Cage. But some of it was painful. Like the waiting.”

  “Well, you don’t need to wait anymore. I’m here,” he said.

  She blinked and her eyes looked wet, like she was fighting back tears. But then she grinned. “All right. We’ll go up, then. I’d like to show you my room anyway. I got a window seat, just like I had at Willow’s.”

  “Well, I have to see that. You remember what happens on window seats…”

  She stopped on the stairs and looked at him, blushing. Hesitating.

  He frowned. “Carrie, I’ve waited years to see you. I’m not going to ruin it by doing anything you don’t want.”

  She nodded, squeezed his hand, and kept going.

  He loved the feel of her small, soft hand in his as she pulled him up the stairs. She led him to a door on the right and swung it open.

  Her bedroom was gorgeous, simply furnished in white and blue, with a large window seat looking out over the neighborhood. He walked to it, pulling her with him, and sat, putting his arms around her.

  She stiffened for a moment and then leaned back against him with a sigh. “I’m afraid of accepting this,” she said. “I’m afraid of waking up and finding it’s all a dream and you’re not really here.”

  Her head rested against his shoulder, her back against his chest. They fit together so easily here on the windowsill. “I’m afraid it’s all going to go wrong and that even if I did convince you to leave, they wouldn’t let you go a second time. It all feels ruined.”

  “Nothing between us can ever be ruined,” he said simply. “It can always be fixed. It has to be.”

  “I don’t know how you’re so sure,” she said. “I thought you’d given up on me. You were gone so long.”

  “I was trying to be good enough for you,” he said. “Trying to make a life that would match how amazing you are.”

  She was quiet at that but just rested deeper against him.

  He reached up and touched her hair, which was a darker blond with little streaks of gold shot through it from the sun. Soft, so soft. And fragrant, like fabric softener and fresh flowers. He’d missed this so much. His finger reached up and stroked her hair, pulling it behind her ear.

  “Stop that,” she said. “I can’t think. Aren’t we supposed to be talking? Because you’re awfully silent.”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I kind of feel like I’m talking to you just like this.” His hands wrapped around her waist. “It’s nice and warm here. I don’t want to leave.”

  She snorted. “You never did. I never wanted you to either. We were so weird, you know. So naive.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe how many years I spent thinking of you.”

  “Who else would you be thinking of?” he asked possessively.

  “No one,” she said. “That’s just the thing. No one else has even entered my mind. No one else could ever live up to you.”

  “Good,” he said, leaning back against the wall again, relaxed now that he knew for sure there was no one else in the picture. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long. I was trying to be good enough to deserve you.”

  “Love isn’t like that,” she said, arching her head back to look at him. “You can’t deserve it. It has to be freely given or it doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Right,” he said, resting his head on hers playfully. He couldn’t look in her eyes right now or he’d crack. Tell her everything. Beg her to run away with him and just let himself drop what he was doing with the Aces.

  But what he was doing was important, not just for her, but for the whole town. For the kids at Willow’s. He couldn’t just give up because it was difficult and complicated.

  Besides, she’d never leave the kids or Willow alone to save herself. It was something he loved about her, how much she watched out for those in trouble, who had less than her.

  He had been one of them.

  So he had to stay focused, no matter how tantalizing her beautiful blue eyes were. No matter how much he loved the feel of her soft, curvy body and just wanted to hold it forever and tell her all his secrets.

  He was still a warrior, just for a little longer. But soon, he could just be a bear and love his mate, forever.

  That thought was so good it sent his heart racing. She seemed to notice, because she looked up at him, amused. “Your heart is pounding,” she said, grinning slightly. “You still like me, then?”

  “Like you?” he growled. “Carrie, that doesn’t even come close to how I feel. It’s always only been you for me. You know that.”

  She put her hands over his on her waist. “It was hard to remember as the years went by. You say you never felt good enough for me, but I never felt good enough for you either. I was just this average, chubby girl, and you were this shiny, handsome boy that everyone noticed.”

  “So you’re shallow. Is that what you’re saying?” He teased. “Newsflash, Carrie. You’re so much better than me. Look at you even now, fighting off the Aces so you can keep a bar you use to support kids in foster care. It doesn’t get much more angelic.”

  “I’m not angelic,” she said. “I guess you could say it was selfish, because I’m just trying to help people like me.”

  “I see.”

  “Or,” she said, stroking her finger along the top of his hand in a way that gave him chills. “You could say every lost little kid made me think of a boy I once knew. Someone who was lost and hurting. And while I waited for him to come home, I wanted to take care of the others, as if it could fill the void he left behind.”

  “No need anymore,” he said. “I’m here to fill all your voids.” He realized how it sounded the moment he said it, and a grin spread over his face.

  She went quiet, and when he looked down at her face, he saw her cheeks reddening.

  “Carrie Miller, are you blushing?” He teased. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

  “You’re the one talking about filling my voids,” she muttered, trying to scoot away from him, embarrassed.

  But he simply laughed and hugged her close. She might have by far more inner strength and goodness of heart than him, but he had the advantage in physical strength.

  “It’s not fair,” she said, wriggling. “You can just pull me back whenever you want.”

  He leaned close to her ear, feeling heat from her body as he did. “You wouldn’t want me to let go,” he said.

  She shook her head and held on to his arms with her hands. “I wouldn’t. I just wish I could hold on to you the way you hold on to me. I wish I could make you mine. I wish I could make all of the decisions. You’re like a passing storm cloud, only bringing water when you want to.” Her voice caught, and he felt wetness on his arm and looked down to see a tear streaming over one cheek. “I just have to wait for you, Cage. And I’m nearly dried up.”

  6

  Carrie’s words tore at Cage’s heart. He picked her up in his arms, ignoring her gasp of shock, and carried her to the bed in the middle of the room. He plopped her on it on her knees and then got on with her.

  He caught her face in both hands, and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. She blinked up at him, blond la
shes wet and spiky.

  “I’m not a storm cloud, passing as I wish,” he said. “I’m a boomerang you threw that can’t help but come back. I’m a magnet and you’re the other side. I’m a piece of a puzzle only you can assemble. I’m nothing without you.” He put his forehead to hers, staying there.

  “Cage, it’s been so lonely without you,” she said. “I didn’t even realize how much until now. Until being with you again.”

  He wiped her tears again with his thumbs, wishing he’d come back sooner. “I’m sorry I stayed away. I won’t ever do it again.”

  “But you’ll have to,” she said, slumping forward to put her head against his chest. “You’re one of them. The Aces.”

  He caught her face again and gently lifted her to face him. Her tears were drying, and she looked indignant more than sad.

  “I could be less sad,” she said. “Because it all had a purpose. Because I pictured something better. But you just came back and—”

  He couldn’t hear the words from her mouth anymore. He dipped down and kissed her, silencing her completely. Her body softened, and he snaked a hand around her waist to press her even closer as he melded his lips to hers. He felt a salty tear between them and caught it as he adjusted their kiss, letting their lips fit together perfectly, over and over again.

  Showing her just how perfect for each other they were.

  The bear inside him growled, and he told it to shut up. Right now, for her, he needed to be the man, not the animal.

  The animal could come out the next time she needed to be protected.

  The man would take care of her heart.

  He cradled the back of her neck and deepened the kiss. She opened easily, and their tongues entwined together in a soft, intimate embrace that had them both trembling.

  There’d been no other woman for him. Not even in his thoughts. And kissing her like this, going further than they’d ever gone, was even more than he’d ever imagined. His hand moved over her shoulder, tempted unbearably by her breasts. He could feel her need for him, sense her want.

  One of his hands cupped her hip, feeling the feminine softness there that would cradle him perfectly. He just wanted to lay her down beneath him and take everything, make her his, tell her the truth, embrace a happily ever after.

  But he couldn’t.

  Not yet.

  He pulled back from the kiss to look over her face. So beautiful, so familiar, with her full cheeks, pointed chin, little freckles, curled eyelashes. A dimple on one side of her soft smile.

  Her hair was waving around her face, looking like a thick halo. He tried to smooth it, to no avail, and chuckled lightly.

  “What is it?” she asked, looking up at him with a vulnerability that took his breath away.

  “Nothing,” he said, touching her hair again, winding a curl around his finger and then letting it go so it bounced back. “I just love that your hair, like you, can’t seem to be tamed.”

  She shook her head. “So cheesy.” She looked down at her body self-consciously. “You felt all over me. I guess you noticed I got heavier.” She frowned, touching her face. “Do I have wrinkles?”

  He chuckled and drew her in against his chest, savoring the feel. “I noticed you’re even more beautiful than I remembered. I noticed you’re still the hottest woman in the world to me. The only one I can think of.”

  “Oh, come on,” she said, pushing back from him and folding her arms. “You can’t tell me there wasn’t another woman in the past ten years. I know what men are like.”

  His expression darkened, and he fought off the blackness inside him. “Not all men are like my father,” he said. “Or the other men in the Aces.”

  She nodded. “I guess so.”

  He caught her face in his hands again. He loved touching her soft skin. But more than that, this was so important he wanted her to look deep into his eyes as he said it. “Carrie, I’m nothing like that. I’m the opposite of it. I know me coming back as part of the Aces has really thrown you, but can’t you believe I could somehow be part of them yet still be the man you once loved?”

  She raised her eyes hesitantly, studying his face before looking into his eyes. She bit her lip and her face softened as her gaze locked with his, and invisible heat twined between them. “I can believe it.”

  He reached for her hands, intertwining them with his, and then pressed her back against the bed, straddling her. “You said you loved me when we first kissed, all those years ago. Do you still?”

  “It’s been years,” she said, looking unconcerned by their position. So she did trust him. “How can I know?”

  He leaned forward and caught her earlobe in his mouth, making her gasp. “How does that make you feel?” he whispered, flicking his tongue against her as she spoke.

  She writhed under him. “How am I supposed to know?” She gasped. “I’ve never done it with anyone else.”

  He growled in pleasure. “Trust me. It wouldn’t feel like this with anyone else.” He bit down gently on her lobe, and she arched again. He sucked it slowly, dragging it lightly between his teeth.

  She let out a ragged breath as she looked up at him, chest heaving.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe you’re just good at it.”

  He grinned. “No, that’s not it. It’s because it’s me and you, and we were always meant to be together.” He leaned forward to do the same thing to her other ear, but her small hands pressed up against his chest.

  “Whoa,” she said. “You said you wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want.”

  He raised an eyebrow and pulled back slightly. “And you don’t want this?”

  She blinked at him uncertainly, biting her lip in a way that made his pants tighter.

  Still, he made as if to get off of her, to show her the only reason he had for staying there at all was if she wanted him there. He had no interest in unwilling females.

  She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back. “Wait.” Her tone was hesitant, but her skin was flushed. “Hold on a second, buster.”

  “Buster?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “You never called me that.”

  “It’s just a saying,” she said. “When someone’s misbehaving.”

  “Oh, well, if I’m misbehaving…” He made as if to get off her again, but she jerked on his shirt, a little harder this time.

  Her face was now bright red. “Wait.”

  He straddled her, letting his weight rest on his knees as his muscular thighs just barely brushed the softness of her hips. “Wait for what, exactly?”

  “I’m thinking this over,” she said, running a hand through her hair. “You, with your… army body…” She gestured to his chest and arms. “And your muscles. And your… proximity. You make it hard to think.”

  “Then don’t think,” he said, coming forward to bring their lips just a feather’s distance apart. He could feel her breath, how it was coming in short little gasps. He could feel just how overwhelmed she was by him. But if they were going to do anything, he wanted her to know it was only because they both wanted it.

  He’d waited ten years. He wouldn’t screw this up by not being able to wait a while longer.

  “If you aren’t ready, I can wait.” He started to sit up.

  She let out a growl and grabbed him by both sides of his collar. She pulled him down until they were nearly touching again. Her eyes darted to his lips. “Oh no you don’t. Not now that you’ve gotten me all stirred up. No, you’re going to stay and finish what you’ve started.”

  He sighed and gently removed her hands from his collar, pressing them down to her sides as she wriggled gently against him, testing his strength.

  He wanted her, badly. But this was Carrie. His Carrie. Everything needed to be perfect. She couldn’t feel he’d coerced her in any way.

  “I want you,” he said. “So much. But I don’t want you to regret anything. I’m in this for the long haul.”

  She rolled her eyes and let out a growl. “I’m not going to regret
it. But I’m also not going to make it any more plain to you, you big bear. I want you, right now. I’ve wanted you for ten years. You’re all I’ve thought about.”

  “Bear?” he asked, taken aback. “What do you mean?”

  “Huge, stubborn. Always trying to get your way,” she said.

  He let out an internal sight of relief and then leaned over her, bringing his chest up against hers. “So I’m all you’ve thought about?”

  She nodded, flushing.

  “And what did you think about exactly?”

  “You… touching me,” she said softly.

  “Where?” he asked.

  She flushed deeper and avoided his eyes.

  “Where?” he asked again, his voice gruffer.

  Her eyes darted down. “You know where.”

  He let go of one of her hands so he could run a hand down her waist, over her hips, and then down to just above where her legs came together. “There?”

  She nodded, closing her eyes tight. “Yes. There. With your tongue.”

  His hands were already dipping below the waistband of her underwear when he heard the last word. Tongue.

  He went instantly harder. “Excuse me?”

  She pulled her hands away and brought them up to cover her face. “I think you know what I mean,” she mumbled from beneath them.

  He caught her hands in his and pulled them away, pinning them on either side of her head. She was adorable but needed to know there would never be anything embarrassing between them.

  “That’s normal, you know,” he said. “I’ve wanted the same thing.”

  “It’s so… wanton,” she said.

  “You read too many of those novels,” he said, grinning as he kissed his way over her cheek and jaw, down her neck, to her clavicle. She arched and buried her hands in his hair.

  He laughed as he kissed his way down her arm. When he got to her hand, he lifted it to kiss each of the fingertips. He could barely believe he was here now, doing the things that had haunted his dreams. She’d been so real in his fantasies, so close it seemed he could almost reach out and touch. But then she’d disappeared into vapor and mist.