Zinc Dragon (Dragon Guard of Drakkaris Book 4) Read online

  She let out a sigh. “Oh, Zinc. Sometimes I really do think I could stay here forever. I don’t think I want our mating to end.”

  He took a deep breath, knowing what he had to say was difficult but that it couldn’t wait for another moment. “That’s good,” he said, stroking her hair back. “Because we can’t undo it, Princess.”

  Her eyes widened instantly, and her body tightened beneath him. “What?”

  He could practically hear her heart rate speed up as he rolled off of her, trying to give her a little space.

  No matter her reaction, he hoped the incredible connection between them wouldn’t be lost. “I never meant to trick you. I misunderstood the question when I said I could reverse the mating. It can’t be taken back. I’m sorry, Leanne.”

  She stared at him blankly, and the longer she was quiet, the longer a deep feeling of dread seeped into his heart.

  Somehow, the knowledge that he’d hurt her felt more toxic than any poison.

  Chapter 17

  Leanne stayed completely still, letting Zinc’s words wash over her as well as the rest of her afterglow.

  She didn’t want to ruin a beautiful moment, but it felt like her world was crashing in around her just as she’d allowed herself to be vulnerable and fully embrace the feelings in her heart.

  Didn’t this sort of… change everything?

  “You lied to me,” she said, feeling as though it were hard to breathe with the tightness in her throat.

  “I didn’t mean to,” he said, looking genuinely worried about her reaction. “I wasn’t completely lucid that day. The poison was too far along.”

  “Great, so I had sex with someone who didn’t know what was happening.” She felt sheer panic threatening to overtake her as her brain fought to process this new revelation.

  “No.” He sighed, his eyes looking pained. “I knew what was happening when we came together. I wanted it. I just thought it was a dream. But I was so out of it earlier. When I told you I could reverse the mating. It was one of my bad spells, and I didn’t understand what you meant. The pain was too bad.”

  She felt for him in that. In fact, she’d felt bad enough about his suffering that she’d been willing to sacrifice just about anything for him.

  She supposed her attraction to him hadn’t hurt either.

  But after that…

  “You lied to me after. When we came here. You knew what I thought, and you didn’t correct me. You let me think this was all up to me. I thought there was some kind of decision to be made.”

  “You’re it for me, Leanne. I knew it was meant to be when it happened. I had zero doubts.”

  She stared at the sky, where purple clouds were darkening.

  “Yeah, but I had doubts.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of. That you would think I had tricked you on purpose to save my own skin.”

  She glared at him. “I wouldn’t think that about you.”

  “Wouldn’t you? It looks terrible. Like everything worked out for me and none of it for you.”

  “I did know it worked out for you, but I never thought you manipulated me into giving you help. As you said, you weren’t lucid.” He seemed slightly relieved, but she put up a finger. “But I do feel like I’ve been manipulated now. Hanging around your family, thinking I know some kind of secret, hanging around Cobalt…” She put a hand to her face. “Oh gosh, does he know?”

  Zinc nodded sharply. “I asked for his advice. I was panicked. I knew I’d found my mate, but I felt awful about how I’d gone about it. I kept wanting to tell you. I knew I should. But he told me to try and win you in the meantime, the way I would have if I’d met you when things were… otherwise.”

  “But you didn’t feel that fated mates thing with me, did you?”

  “I did once we were mated.”

  “Maybe that was just your mind trying to cope.” She felt oddly cold inside, oddly numb. It was too much to deal with on top of what she’d already been through with being captured by wolves and then brought to another planet. “I just want to go home.”

  “Wait,” he said. “We can work this out.”

  She shook her head as she got to her feet, pulling her clothes on. “I agreed to save your life, Zinc. I didn’t agree to forever, and I didn’t agree to spend my life on your crazy planet.”

  “Oh. I see.” His expression tightened instantly, and she realized she’d hurt him more than she’d expected.

  “It’s nothing personal. I just need to be home.”

  “Right,” he said, folding his massive arms. “And not on this crazy planet with a crazy dragon you never wanted in the first place.”

  She frowned because that wasn’t exactly true. She’d had an instant crush on him that had evolved into near love in the time she’d been with him. Maybe even been love at certain moments. But right now, she couldn’t feel that. All she could feel was betrayal.

  And confusion.

  “I still don’t get why you would hide things from me, unless you were trying to get your way. Trying to keep me from leaving your planet before you could convince me I was staying with you of my own will.”

  “It would always be your will. I would never force you.”

  “But I don’t get to choose if we are mated. We just are. But I’m assuming, just like a human marriage, that I don’t have to stay with you. We may not be able to divorce, but we can separate.”

  “No,” he said, looking panicked as he pulled on his shirt. “Please, don’t leave me.”

  “Why not? I’m just a girl who jumped on you in a dungeon. One you didn’t respect enough to tell the truth.”

  “One I respect and love so much I can’t bear to lose her,” he said, wringing his hands together. She’d never seen him so distressed. He looked ready to get on his knees and beg.

  Imagine, a king begging her.

  If only he’d just given her the truth.

  “What would you have done if I told you?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Panicked maybe, but I would have considered my options. Either way, I need to go home. I know that now. Too much has happened. I need to get space in my head.” She touched her chest. “In my heart.”

  “I don’t see how you need space when my heart is completely full of you. I love you, Leanne.”

  She took a step back in shock. “I don’t know how you can love me when none of this was a choice for you.”

  “It doesn’t need to be a choice,” he said, stepping forward, hands tightened in fists at his sides. “Sometimes things work in mysterious ways. As long as it works out in the end, why does it matter? I know I can make you happy. Care for you as no one else can. I know you make me happy as well. If it’s our fate, then why should we fight it?”

  “Because fate isn’t enough to keep two people together. They also have to choose to make it work.”

  He froze in place, a frown on his handsome face. “Then tell me what to do to make it right, Leanne. I will do anything.”

  “I don’t know. I’m not trying to torture you. I’m still just in shock. And realizing that I keep getting carried along by other people’s wishes. Other people’s plans. Letting them take advantage or fool me. I never just live for myself.”

  “So all of this has been for me?”

  “Of course not. When I mated you that night, I wanted it, too, with some part of me. Wanted to be with you, whether it was out of loneliness or because I was attracted or because I wanted to save you or all of the above. Some of it has been for me. But ever since I’ve been on Drakkaris, I’ve been wrapped up in you and your life, and I haven’t really been able to think about what I’ve wanted.”

  “That’s all I wanted you to do. So you could figure out if you wanted to stay with me.”

  “As if it were a choice?”

  He folded his arms, standing a little taller, a frustrated look in his eyes “It has always been your choice. I knew if you chose against me, I would simply let you go and spend my life without a mate
. I simply hoped to show you how good we are together, regardless of our circumstances.”

  They were good together. Exceptional sometimes. But that wasn’t enough when she was so caught off guard. When she just needed to go home.

  “I’m sorry, Zinc.”

  He took a deep breath and released it harshly. “So what, you just go now? What about the danger on Earth? What about—”

  A buzzing sound came from the device on his arm, and he cursed as he brought it up and touched it. “What is it?”

  “Another attack. Dilutes at the back entrance. They came over the wall.”

  “Dammit,” Zinc said, looking up at her.

  This was the critical moment. Would he put her before Drakkaris, or was he only fighting to keep her there so he could keep the status quo and have a mate by his side?

  “I have to go back.” His eyes were pleading. His jaw was tense. “I have to take care of it.”

  “I understand.”

  And she did, because she had things to take care of as well. People to check on, dreams to follow. She had her own world that needed her. And she needed it. Zinc was important to her. She might even love him, but she couldn’t just stay with him because she had no other choice.

  They couldn’t start a life focused on only one person’s dreams.

  “Let’s go, Zinc. They need you.”

  His mouth tightened, but he relaxed slightly. “Thank you for understanding.” And then he was in dragon form, and she was climbing on his back, heart slightly breaking as she realized exactly what she had to do next.

  She would miss Zinc, but there was no way to figure out if she could truly be with him while staying here on Drakkaris.

  Dirtied and tired, Zinc walked down the hall toward Leanne’s room, hoping she wasn’t sitting there loathing him.

  He’d hated interrupting such an important conversation with her, but he couldn’t let dilutes overrun the castle.

  So he had dropped her off at her room, making her promise they could talk about this later, kissed her cheek, and run off, sword in hand.

  Now he was back, and he could only hope she understood that he had to do his duty, as she said she had.

  Maybe she’d even come to her senses, realized he’d never meant to trick her. He’d been trying to make the best of a messy situation.

  He was even willing to forgive her for calling Drakkaris a crazy planet. He’d said things in the heat of the moment, too, when her shock and horror at the mating being permanent had felt like a rejection of everything he was.

  Especially after he’d just made love to her.

  He realized now he should have just told her earlier. Had he truly been selfishly trying to increase his own odds? He’d been ready to tell her the minute he first saw her after she woke up, but they’d gotten interrupted.

  Though, he supposed that was no excuse if he’d really wanted to be above board.

  He sighed and got ready to grovel if needed as he approached her door.

  Whatever she wanted, he’d do it. If she wanted Earth, he would take her there. He reached the door and knocked on it harshly.

  He tapped his foot, and when there was no answer, he tried the handle. It was open, and he stumbled inside to see it was empty.

  No sign of Leanne. His heart began to pound harder than it had in any battle as he ran to the bathroom and then the closet, searching for any sign of his mate.

  “You won’t find her,” a calm, feminine voice called from the door to the bedroom.

  He ran back to see his mother standing there wearing a blue-and-green dress, folding her arms as she leaned against the doorway. She walked forward and sat on the bed, motioning for him to join her.

  “What do you mean I won’t find her? She is my mate. We should go everywhere together.”

  “Is that true?” The queen raised an eyebrow. “Because it seems you’ve been leaving her behind a lot lately.”

  “To do my duty,” he said. “She understood that.”

  The queen tapped her fingers on her knee patiently. “One can do their duty and still be incredibly selfish.”

  “For defending the kingdom?”

  “The kingdom can survive without you, Zinc. How else did we get by when you were on Earth? Your father only calls you now because he’s glad to have you. But he would never want that at the cost of your mate. I should have told him sooner not to call you as much, but I assumed Leanne was appreciating some time to relax and process things.” She sighed. “Now that I know the whole situation, I know that she was just really confused.”

  “We both were,” Zinc said tightly.

  The queen shook her head. “There is a huge difference. You got to deal with this change at home. Your mate had to deal with the change while adjusting to a new planet. All because she saved your life.”

  “I was trying to be good to her. I only brought her to save her life. Otherwise, we would have stayed on Earth.”

  “Are you sure? Because it definitely seems you have been happy to be on Drakkaris.”

  He sighed and finally took a seat near the bed, slumping down on it. “Of course I was glad to be home, but I didn’t plan for it. Just like I was so happy to be mated to Leanne that I let that override how it happened.”

  “She has gone back to Earth. I got in contact with your oracle, and she immediately opened a portal for her. She needs time to figure things out. Just like you would if you weren’t on your world.”

  “I see.” A part of his heart felt cracked in half in a way that would never heal because she had left him.

  “I normally avoid reading your thoughts, but I can’t help it with how selfish you’re being. If you think you’re feeling betrayed, how do you think she felt? Maybe it’s my fault, but I tried not to raise you to be selfish. I don’t think you were like this before.”

  “No,” he said. “You’re right. Because I always felt like a martyr. I always thought I was going to die, so everyone else was more important than me. Then I met this beautiful angel, and she wanted me. And I got everything I thought I could never achieve. My life back. All the things I thought I’d always wanted.” He sighed, leaning forward. “Except it means nothing without her here. The biggest reason I’ve been trying to protect the planet is because she was here.”

  “Then you need to tell her that,” his mother said, leaning forward to put a hand on his knee. “But you need to give her time first.”

  He started in his chair. “But what about her safety?”

  “The oracle assured me that someone will be watching her. Chromium, I believe. He’ll be perfect, so cloaked she’ll never see him.”

  “He’d better not be watching all the time.”

  “I’m sure Chromium knows how to be professional. In the meantime, you need to be honest about Drakkaris,” his mother said. “If you won’t feel safe leaving it, then figure out a way to make things right. Then you can go after your mate with sincere intentions. You can know she is all that is on your mind.”

  “But how will I know when it’s time to go to her?”

  “I think you’ll just know.”

  He got out of his chair and enclosed his mother in a hug. “How are you so wise?”

  “A few hundred years of mistakes doesn’t hurt,” she said, smiling. She released him and looked into his eyes. “You’re a wonderful man, Zinc. Sick or not. You’re not a martyr to any cause. Perhaps, like Leanne, you don’t truly know what you want for your life. So before you go after her, you should figure it out. Then the two of you can be truly honest with one another.”

  “I know that I want her,” he said. “I want nothing so much as that. She’s my heart now, Mother.”

  “Then get things straight and go find your heart.”

  She put a hand on his shoulder, squeezed it reassuringly, and walked out of the room, leaving him alone with the scent of his mate, the empty reminder that he had hurt her.

  He ignored the hurt inside him. It was time now to understand her hurt. To do everything po
ssible so they could be together again.

  Because on this or any planet, Leanne was the only woman for him.

  If he couldn’t make her happy, he was more pauper than king.

  Chapter 18

  Leanne stared up at the building in front of her, a large, shimmering rectangle, and was reminded once more how different buildings were here compared to Drakkaris.

  It had been two weeks since she’d seen Zinc, since she’d left to go back to her world and get her head on straight, and she was a surprised and a little disappointed that he hadn’t come to see her yet.

  She’d thought that, given their short time together, some of the things they’d done would fade as she got back to life in her world, but that wasn’t the case.

  Every memory was so vivid.

  Their time in the dungeon together. The day they escaped. The days after, in the palace.

  Making love in that field of beautiful, surreal flowers.

  She sighed up at the glaring sun and straightened her shoulders as she walked into the building through the automatic glass doors in front of her.

  The oracle had assured her it was best to keep busy, that Zinc would contact her when ready, and Leanne wished she could just see him right now.

  She’d missed him almost from the moment she’d left him, and her anger had faded much quicker than she’d thought.

  It had still been good to come back here. She’d gotten to call and check in on her family and was glad to hear they were all doing well. She’d called her former boss and thanked her for the experience but said she wasn’t coming back now that she was home.

  She wanted to face life on her own terms.

  Now she was just going through the motions, doing the things she’d told herself she wanted to do while in the dungeon. She’d told herself she wanted to get out in the world. Live a little. Pursue some of the business ideas she’d had while in school.

  But for some reason, she just didn’t feel as passionate.

  This was her third attempt at pitching an investor, and she knew part of the reason her pitches weren’t going well was that her heart was no longer here on Earth.