Starlight Page 5

  She set her cup on the grass beside her, feeling a bit warm already from the wine. “Theo, why would you want it to be romantic?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t take just anyone on my bike.”

  She sighed. “You haven’t ever asked me out. You haven’t come to my parties. You have never showed any interest. How am I to not assume you just think dating is the way to get me to stay?”

  “Is it?”

  “No!”

  He smiled. “I know. And I know I missed all of those chances to see you.” He looked over at her, his icy-blue eyes serious. “But maybe I regret that now that you’re leaving. Isn’t it okay to try and correct a mistake?”

  “What mistake? Us remaining professional as co-workers?”

  “Us not spending any time together outside of work.” He picked a blade of grass and played with it before tossing it away and grabbing another. “I should know more about you than I do.”

  “You know my favorite sandwich.”

  His eyes were magnetic as they locked on hers. “I want to know so much more.”

  She swallowed, feeling her heart speed up at the focus in his eyes. She’d always loved that about him when he worked, how focused he could be. But having that focus turned on her, when she felt he’d always overlooked her, was… overwhelming. “What do you want to know?”

  “Tell me about your family. You’re going home to them, right?”

  She nodded. “I love my parents. I was lucky to have good ones. I have two little sisters. You met the one. Did I ever thank you for saving her?”

  “Only about a thousand times,” he said drily, then laughed.

  She laughed with him, feeling a little less awkward about being alone with him now. Especially since he didn’t seem to be aware of how she was feeling.

  How much she wanted him.

  “Well, I’m grateful. And I’m sure it wasn’t that many times.”

  He shrugged. “It’s not needed. I did it because I wanted to. And I couldn’t see you cry.”

  “Thanks.”

  He bit his lower lip thoughtfully. “I never could stand that. For some reason, I feel ways about you I’ve never felt for someone else, Ada. I don’t know what to make of it. I just know I can’t function with you gone.”

  “You’ll be fine,” she said, feeling like a broken record.

  He tossed another blade of grass. “So what do you like to do at home with your family?”

  “Things like this. Go hiking, take picnics. We like to ride bikes. The less dangerous ones, of course.”

  He looked up, offended. “My bike’s not dangerous.”

  “Oh, right,” Ada said. “My bad. Anyway, we also like to take out the family boat.”

  “Very active,” Theo said. “That’s how you stay in shape.”

  Ada’s jaw dropped. “Excuse me?” Oh God, was he making fun of her?

  Theo gestured to her figure. “You’re always full of energy at work, able to lift heavy patients. I admire that.”

  She exhaled roughly. “So you weren’t talking about how I look.”

  “Heavens no,” he said, eyebrows bunching. “That would be rude.”

  As if that would stop him from doing a lot of things.

  “Yeah, why would you?”

  He peered at her curiously. “Why did you say it like that? Are you under the impression that I find you unattractive?”

  “I don’t look like those nurses you reject all the time.”

  “They aren’t my type.”

  “No one is.”

  His icy eyes got a strange glint in them as he stared at her, and then they slowly wandered up and down her body, making her heat all the way down to her toes. “I have a type. I just haven’t allowed myself to go for it.”

  She swallowed, feeling as though her throat were full of broken glass. This was so awkward. But she had to know. “Are you… attracted to me?”

  “Very,” he said emphatically, leaning back on his hands and looking out at the sunset. “Who wouldn’t be? But that doesn’t mean I have any right to come on to you as your boss.”

  “You aren’t directly my boss.”

  “I guess it’s complicated. Of course I’ve been attracted to you, but we’ve been working together on important things. I’m not the type to think of things like romance, and if I didn’t have very strong self-control, it would have been easy to push you down and take what I wanted.”

  She pursed her lips. “You mean rape?”

  He shook his head, anger tightening his shoulder muscles. “Never that. I simply meant taking the lead. Being assertive.”

  “This all feels very sudden, and it’s hard not to believe you’re using it to manipulate me.”

  He screwed up his face in confusion. “How would that work?”

  “Because I…” Have feelings for you. “I’m attracted to you.”

  “Most humans are,” he said simply.

  “Well, that’s an odd way to put it,” she said.

  “But true,” he said flatly.

  “Right.” She scratched her head, then found her ponytail and let her curls loose. She hadn’t had time to straighten them this morning. Coming from a bi-racial heritage, her curls weren’t as tight as her mother’s, but they were still hard to manage at times. She eyed Theo. What did he think of them?

  His eyes studied her hair as she let the shoulder-length, frizzy locks catch the light breeze, and he sighed.

  Theo sighed.

  “I love your hair,” he said, coming forward on the blanket and reaching a hand out to capture a ringlet. “It’s so different. So pretty and unique.” He curled the ringlet around his finger, slowly bringing her in closer. “Like you.”

  Oh God.

  “Theo, we shouldn’t…”

  He pulled back, releasing her hair and leaving her with a deep sense of disappointment. His frank eyes met hers, looking a deeper blue now that the sun was almost below the horizon. “Why?”

  “Because… it’s sudden.”

  “It’s not sudden,” he said, moving closer so she could feel the heat from his large body, see the muscles move in his neck.

  “It is. You’ve never acted anything like this before. Suddenly, you’re all over me.”

  He stayed close as he spoke to her. “I… From a young age, I was taught to stay distant. To keep away from what I wanted. To be careful. I guess that stayed with me longer than I wanted it to. But what’s the point in being careful now that I’m going to lose you anyway?”

  “I don’t understand. Did you always want me in that way?”

  “I’m not sure. The way I lived, always seeing things I wanted and not being able to reach for them, I learned not to grow attached to things. To feel nothing as I had to pass them by.” He reached up to stroke her cheek. “I’m not sure exactly what’s happening, but I know I feel something for you. Something that has nothing to do with you being a nurse.”

  She put a hand over his, then slowly pushed it away. “We can’t.”

  He put it back again. “I have… lived with a lot of darkness. It’s why I don’t let people in. I can’t promise to give you everything, but if you stay, I’m willing to give you more. If you can take a chance with me.”

  She put her hand over his but didn’t move it this time. “You speak sometimes as if you’re old, but you’re still pretty young, Theo.”

  “I feel I’ve lived several lifetimes, all of them alone.”

  She pulled back. “So you just want me to stay because you’re lonely?”

  His hand lowered to her neck, pulling her in so their foreheads could touch. “No. I want you to stay because I want you, and until you were leaving, I didn’t realize how much.”

  Her body was tense, warm, couldn’t stand the closeness much longer. With their foreheads together, his lips were so close.

  In her wildest fantasy, she’d never imagined him saying anything like this.

  Wanting her or even saying he had feelings for her even if he didn’t unders
tand them himself.

  “It should make sense, right? I’m always there to rescue you. I never let anyone insult you. I’m only half as rude to you as to anyone else.”

  She smiled at that. “True.”

  “I’m not saying I know what could happen, but we have two weeks together, and we clearly get along well. Why shouldn’t we try and see what happens? Why not?”

  Because it was all too good to be true, and he was going to hurt her. Because Theo couldn’t possibly have feelings for someone, let alone her. Because she needed warmth and stability and a family, all things she doubted he could give her.

  But still, she wanted to take what he could offer, even just for a night.

  Would he offer that?

  He kept their heads close together, and she could feel his breath. “What do you think about me, Ada? Do you have feelings for me?”

  Her throat felt stuck and dry; her mouth couldn’t answer. Of course she had feelings. Unlike him, she was totally aware she was in love. In love with a man who had kept her at arm’s distance for so long she didn’t know what to do when he finally pulled her close.

  And she couldn’t tell him how she felt. Not yet, or he might use it against her.

  No, he wasn’t that kind of man. But still, she couldn’t stand the sheer embarrassment if he knew the true reason she had to go.

  Let him think she was just like him, caught up in the moment and unsure.

  “Theo,” she said softly. “I don’t know.”

  “That’s fine,” he said, stroking a finger down her jawline. “We can figure it out as we go.” His finger tipped her chin, bringing her lips up closer to his until they were only a feather’s breadth apart.

  “Wait.” She gasped.

  “If you don’t want this, tell me to stop,” Theo said. “At any time, I will stop for you.”

  She couldn’t stop this any more than she could stop a freight train. Every part of her body was aware that the object of all her fantasies was holding her close, about to kiss her.

  And she wanted it more than she wanted her next breath.

  “Don’t stop.”

  And then his lips were on hers, warm and careful, pressed so gently and quietly that she could feel the wind blowing around them, tickling her ears.

  She froze, feeling emotions well in her as he kept the kiss connected, so gentle as both his hands cradled her face.

  She felt cared for, protected. And then his tongue gently pushed at the seam of her lips, and she opened for him to come in. As his tongue swiped inside, she could have melted if he wasn’t holding her face.

  His kiss grew dominant, insistent, exploring, and she writhed, putting her hands on his waist and feeling his firm abs, no longer covered by his jacket.

  When he pulled back, he was breathless, and she felt as if her whole body couldn’t move.

  “Interesting,” he said as if he’d just completed an experiment. “I think I like kissing a lot.”

  Her eyes widened. “You haven’t kissed before? But—”

  His lips came over hers again, more insistent, and one hand wound around her waist as the other caught her neck, supporting her.

  She was utterly trapped, forced to endure the pleasure of his tongue tasting every bit of her mouth, his strong hands roving over her.

  He seemed intent on exploring while her body was already hot and aching and ready to go. Her heart was racing, she was already embarrassingly wet from just a kiss, and his hand seemed to guess exactly how she liked to be touched as he gripped her hip possessively.

  How was she going to survive this man?

  He pulled back, and his burning blue gaze was eager, sharpened. He slowly licked his lower lip, and she felt like prey being watched by a predator.

  Prey that wanted to be attacked.

  She stared up at him, wondering if he could tell how affected she was in the dim light around them. The stars were already beginning to come out. She wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him, wanting to hide her expression and wanting more of the sensation he could give.

  Wanting to be so close to him.

  It was agonizing to be apart even due to clothes.

  Just one night, could she have this with Theo?

  Theo reached for his jacket, pulling it off her shoulders and tossing it onto the grass. She gasped as her cardigan went next. “I’m glad you want this too, because I don’t want to stop anymore.”

  “Me neither.” Her hands went to the buttons on his shirt, and she accidentally knocked him back onto the blanket, pinning him beneath her in her eagerness.

  His hair was mussed, his collar undone, and his blue eyes were hazy with lust, as hers must have been. She’d never seen him like this before, and she was utterly drawn to him.

  Though she knew it was stupid, she couldn’t turn back. Her hand slipped over to the next button, and she eased it out of the hole, revealing a little more of Theo. “You’re beautiful.”

  “Not as beautiful as you,” he retorted, staring up at her, oddly patient for a man being ravished.

  Then he sat up, flipped her over so she was beneath him on the blanket, and leaned down to kiss her neck, sucking gently.

  She gasped at the pleasure of it, then tried to pull back. “Wait, you’ll leave a mark.”

  He glared down at her, eyes unmistakably dominant. “Good. Because you’re mine.” And then he kissed her again, definitely leaving a mark that time.

  Chapter 8

  Theo couldn’t believe all the feelings surging through him as he kissed and touched Ada.

  It was like five years of history that had been blocked from his mind was unleashed on him all at once.

  Five years of pent-up thoughts, of pretending not to look forward to seeing her smile, of pretending not to want her for his own.

  Of keeping everything he felt behind that tight wall of control that was essential to his safety.

  Except it felt as though he would have no safety if she was gone.

  He wasn’t sure how to deal with all of this. He’d thought to just start dating her, and he had no idea what to do about the fact that he was a nightmare.

  But he just knew a newly awakening part of himself couldn’t let go of her, couldn’t stop trying to make her his.

  It wasn’t even about her moving anymore. It was simply about being unable to deny how much she meant to him.

  She made the world worth living in. She was the only one who truly cared for him, day in and day out, and even if she didn’t love him yet, perhaps she could eventually.

  She was certainly into what they were doing right now.

  He could scent her, a sweet, erotic melody, as her body writhed beneath him.

  He was inexperienced in these matters, but that made it that much more fun to learn about it with Ada. He’d always been a quick learner, and seeing her movements change, listening to the quickening of her breath, was more erotic than he ever could have imagined.

  And he knew enough about anatomy to know the basics of what he should do to please her. However, he also knew women were different and she would have her own preferences and quirks.

  He looked forward to figuring those out more than he had ever looked forward to anything in the world.

  Hope was the world’s most dangerous substance, so Theo didn’t let himself hope for anything beyond pleasing her in this moment.

  But a small part of his heart knew that would never, ever be enough.

  He kissed her lips again and felt her hand grab his and guide it over to her breast, which was so soft and perfect he could have cried. He squeezed it, then slid a hand under her tank top and reached around and undid her bra so he could push it aside.

  If he was going to feel her breast, he wanted to feel all of it.

  He grinned against her lips as he felt how hard and pebbled her nipple was, pressing eagerly into his palm. He caught it between his thumb and forefinger and pulled back to look into her eyes as he squeezed it.

  She moaned, arching back, s
oft brown eyes glowing with starlight as she dug her hands into his thighs.

  He loved being over her like this, surrounding her from above. It felt like he could protect her here, keep the entire world from hurting her.

  If that wasn’t a bonus to being a nightmare, what was?

  He grew gentler with her breast, squeezing and playing and then using his other hand to join in on the other side. Then he grew impatient and pulled her tank top over her head, making sure no one was around that could be watching.

  God, he loved that dusky skin, the softness of her shoulders and arms, those pretty breasts that flattened slightly when she was on her back, perfect, dark nipples standing up for him.

  With her curls spread around her head and her lips parted in pleasure as he took both breasts in his hands again, he didn’t think he’d ever seen a more beautiful sight.

  If this was all he ever got in this world, as far as happiness went, he’d be grateful.

  Yet he was greedy.

  He leaned down, watching her face for approval, and then sucked gently on one of the nipples, savoring the feel of it in his mouth. So small, so vulnerable. He knew others might see her as substantial, as sturdy, but with his height and build, and knowing her as he did, he only saw her as soft and feminine and tiny compared to him.

  He teased his teeth along her nipple, loving the way she gasped and arched. His hands slid down over her waist, and he scooted back so he could see more of her hips. Of the jeans she wore when she changed out of scrubs.

  The button was slightly tight, cutting into her soft skin at this angle, and he flicked it open, eager to see the color of her panties.

  He glanced up at her, but she just nodded eagerly, still breathing hard from what he’d done to her breasts.

  He moved off so he could slide her jeans off, leaving her only in her panties. He took a second to observe her entire body, warm brown skin, beautiful hips, red panties begging him to explore under them. Perfect hourglass with an alluringly soft tummy.

  God, she couldn’t have been more perfect if he’d designed her himself.

  If he’d ever allowed himself to slip even a fraction of his rock-solid control, he was sure he would have fantasized about her previously.

  He ran his hands over her hips lovingly. He’d always known he was more attracted to her than others. He’d known he couldn’t be with any human, but he supposed in his wayward thoughts, he’d known if he could choose one, he’d want one like Ada.