Some Bear to Love: BBW Bear Shifter (BWWM) Romance Standalone Page 5

  He climbed into the boat and helped her up from the much smaller swim platform. The boat swayed. When she was safely inside and seated on the chair next to the captain’s chair, he untied the ropes holding them close to the other boat and let it out so they could drift away from the yacht.

  The dinghy was a little large to be called a dinghy. It had only the two seats, plus a wide bottom and a motor on the back. They often towed it along on longer trips in case someone needed to go for tools or gas or help or something.

  He could still remember the feel of riding out here, chasing the wayward woman who’d stolen his boat. How angry he’d felt but also how excited. His life had been one thing for so long, and even though it was uncomfortable to be different, he was sort of glad it was. And unsure how he would go back to normality after this.

  He moved the cooler that made a makeshift bench onto the captain’s seat, reached under the bow to grab a few blankets they kept under there, and laid them on the bottom of the boat. There would be just enough room to hold her. They might not be able to do everything, but under the cover of darkness, they could still do a whole lot.

  He took her hand and helped her down onto the soft makeshift bed he’d made. He wished he could give her something even greater.

  In the darkness, he could just make out the shape of her body, but he was reassured that no one from the boat would be able to see them at all.

  He couldn’t stand for anyone else to be able to see her. She splayed beneath him with a small smile and one arm over her head. Beautifully naked and reassured. He lowered himself down with her. It was so much easier to be stupid in the darkness.

  * * *

  Oh, she’d wanted this for so long. She couldn’t even say why or how. It wasn’t just that he was a walking fantasy, that his hard naked body was more than she’d ever imagined. Here in the darkness, it was quiet and private. There were clouds in the sky, obscuring the stars, so she could barely make out the outline of his body. But still, she knew him. She reached up to feel along his sleek, damp, hugely muscled arms as he knelt over her. He was so tall, so powerful, and his hair whipped in the slight wind.

  She could make out faint light behind him from the boat, but it would just make them more invisible in the darkness to anyone who was used to the light.

  No one would guess they were out here in this little boat, about to make love like their lives depended on it. At least she thought so. Why else would he have taken care to give them privacy, to lay out clean towels for her comfort? Not that she cared about comfort. All she really knew was if he didn’t touch her with those strong hands again or kiss her with that strong mouth, she was going to explode. She might explode either way.

  He leaned forward, grabbing her other hand to pull it up with the one above her head. He pinned both there in one of his and leaned forward to kiss her again. This time their naked bodies met, his thighs over hers, his chest rubbing her taut nipples. The sensation was nearly unbearable, and she writhed against him.

  He simply growled and pressed back her hands, as if to remind her who was in charge. Well, that was fine, but he couldn’t expect her to simply lie there. She nipped his lower lip as he pulled back to come in for another kiss, and his hand tightened on hers. Not hurting her, but just letting her feel the strength of them.

  Yes, my mate, her bear murmured.

  But we aren’t allowed to choose, she replied. So just one night.

  One night is never enough, the bear answered, coming close to the surface. Kim could almost feel her teeth changing, but she resisted the shift. The closer to shifting she was, the more she realized this beautiful man on top of her was hers and hers alone, forever. And that was just too painful to think about.

  He parted her lips and kissed her more deeply as a hand slipped between her legs to play in her folds. He slipped a finger over her center and rubbed lightly, making her arch and moan even as his hands held her in place and his lips stifled her kisses.

  In the darkness, everything felt more intense. She couldn’t see, so his scent, like clean ocean wind, the feel of him, like steel covered in velvet, and the sensations in her body, like fireworks, were all intensified by a hundredfold.

  Each touch was exquisite. His finger moved in gentle circles as his tongue teased. She met his thrusts with hers, swiping her tongue around his in a hot meshing that brought them closer and closer together. Dangerously close, as his circling finger got more and more precise, building the pressure rising inside her. Her breath came faster. She struggled against his arms and the impending release, gasping against his mouth, fighting the urge to scream out in anticipation.

  He pressed down gently, in a slow circle, and that was enough. She arched and let out a scream that was only half stifled by the harsh kiss he gave her right after. He released her hands so she could clasp them around him, and she dug her fingernails into his back as wave after wave of sweet release hit her.

  Nothing had ever felt this way. Nothing made sense anymore. She moved against him, wanting more, and he gave it to her.

  “I want to taste you,” he said, reaching for something on the floor. “Can I?”

  “Sure,” she said breathlessly. “Taste all you want.”

  He tied her hands in one of the towels, a gentle but strong knot, and placed the end under the heavy captain’s chair. She struggled against it but once again found herself naked and at his mercy, her hands above her head.

  The captain definitely liked being in control. Lucky for him, she liked him being in control as well. He seemed to sense that, and she could almost see the flash of a smile when he knelt between her legs and spread them in front of him. How she wanted to see him smile in the light. What would that even look like, a full smile from this stern, devastating man?

  But right now, he had other things in mind, and his hands kept a firm grasp on her soft thighs as he lowered his head to swipe right over her with his tongue. She arched back, eyes nearly watering in pleasure at how good it felt when he kissed right over her center. He sucked gently, running his tongue back and forth over her most sensitive part, and she fought the restraints, his hands, the towel fruitlessly. She was unable to escape his mouth, his touch, the pleasure threatening to overwhelm her.

  But not for a moment did she feel trapped. Instead, she felt safe, anchored so she couldn’t float away. It felt like no one had ever cared for her in that way, and it hurt her feelings.

  But right now, she would just savor the feeling of being totally safe and totally pleasured as his tongue played and explored. He wasn’t simply tasting her; he was learning her, and she could tell by the way his movements changed as her breathing and heartbeat sped and her legs clenched and fought the oncoming pleasure that he was a very effective student indeed.

  It was coming, it was coming, it was coming as she looked at the faint stars above her and held her breath as all her muscles tightened in anticipation. Then he murmured something against her and the brush of his lips set it all off.

  She bit her lip to keep from screaming and arched back with closed eyes as the orgasm hit. Once again, he freed her, quickly untying the towel and coming forward to wrap himself over her. He caught her lips in a kiss as her hands wrapped around his back to claw long trails into him to communicate how she was feeling. She tasted herself on him, but it felt so right.

  Nothing in the world could feel as right as this. How could it only last one night?

  He held her as the orgasm abated, not making any move for more nor looking like he planned on it. Instead, he took a clean blanket, wrapped her in it, and held her in his lap as he rested against the side of the dinghy, which rocked gently in the waves.

  His breath was hoarse and husky. She could feel her own heart pounding in time to his. His hand found her hair and played at the base of her neck as her body tried to slowly calm. She felt so warm and safe against him. She didn’t want to go back to the ship, back to civilization, or back to New York. She just wanted to stay here with her mate.

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  They were both quiet as Sebastien pulled the rope in until the dinghy was once again right next to the bigger boat. He helped Kim silently onto the back and got on behind her. They changed into their discarded clothes, which were cold from the night air, and then Sebastien helped Kim climb the ladder to the top deck, for some inexplicable reason.

  But she felt guided by him, so she went.

  When they were up top, the cool, humid night air whipping around them, Sebastien went silently to the front of the boat and stood with his hands in his pockets, waiting for Kim to join him.

  “What does this mean?” she asked, coming beside him, longing for the warmth of his body, the feel of his touch, but knowing he hadn’t promised anything like that. That nothing more could probably happen between them. Neither of them had made promises, except to enjoy one night together.

  But could anyone stick to that after seeing how amazing things could be between them?

  He shook his head and walked below deck. She wasn’t sure if she should follow, but a moment later, he reappeared with a large blanket, which he wrapped around her shoulders.

  “That was amazing,” she said, unable to stand the silence any longer. “How are we supposed to pretend it didn’t even happen?”

  He pressed his lips together but just kept looking out at the ocean, infuriating her.

  “Please, say something,” she said. “It’s worse if you just keep silent.”

  He shifted slightly, took a breath, but then let it out. She sighed and turned to leave, unable to sit and wait any longer, when he caught her arm and pulled her back. He looked into her eyes and saw permission in them to pull her close, so he did.

  She loved the warmth that surrounded her, but her heart still felt slightly cold. Then he spoke.

  “I know I have no right to ask this of you. I told you I’m not looking to make promises. But yes, I don’t know how to forget what happened tonight, because nothing like that has ever happened to me before. I don’t know how to pretend it didn’t happen, because it has struck me to my core. And I don’t know how to not do it again, because every cell in my body seems to scream to repeat it.” His arms tightened around her, making her feel small yet secure.

  As a strong, tall, curvaceous woman, it wasn’t a feeling she was used to. But she liked it. Even if she knew this had to end at some point, she liked it.

  “I know it’s not fair.”

  “Why aren’t you looking for something?” she mumbled against him.

  “I just… It’s not for me. I like my life how it is.” The tightness in his voice suggested there was more to it. But she had no right to ask, so she didn’t.

  “What about you?” he asked. “You said you weren’t looking for anything serious. I’m not used to that from women. They seem to want commitment, at least at first.”

  She snorted and pulled back to look at him, wondering how he wasn’t cold in the night air. It was warm in the Caribbean, but the water was cool and in the night air, one could feel quite chilled. “Not all women. Plus, sometimes we already have a commitment. Elsewhere.”

  He pulled back in shock, leaving her cold. “What do you mean?” His eyes were icy and hard, not the distant look he’d had when she first met him, but with a primal anger in them from something she couldn’t identify.

  She studied him for a minute and then realized the implication. “No, no. Nothing like that. I’m not cheating. It’s just that… sometimes families have certain expectations. I have… Well, after this trip, I have duties. To my family I mean.” She shrugged. “It’s fine.”

  He raised an eyebrow. His thick hair was starting to dry and little wisps rose to whip in the wind. It gave him even more of stern, pirate-esque demeanor and appearance. “I suppose that’s admirable, that you put your family first.”

  That stung slightly, given how much it had always hurt to have to put aside everything she wanted for the family, but she supposed he was right. Filial loyalty was something to be respected.

  “What was that expression?” he asked, coming forward again. Everything between them seemed to be a dance. Back and forth, back and forth. Don’t get too close; that could hurt. Don’t get too far away; that could hurt worse.

  She tilted her head and felt the wind over her braids. What was there to say? Even if he saw very real pain and distress over her situation, what could be done? Her family was powerful. She had her expectations. She shrugged. “It was nothing. I just sort of wish we could be reckless. That we could just enjoy my time in the Caribbean together, making love, enjoying the sun. Letting go a bit.” She lowered her head slightly. “This is my last chance to let go.”

  His face tightened inexplicably. “I see. I’ll think about it.”

  Her heart sank. She’d put it all out there, and he had to think about it? Damn. If he felt like she felt, wouldn’t he have just said yes and damn the consequences? But no, he was all about rules and routines and regulations. He did everything according to what made sense, and nothing about them made sense.

  She tightened the blanket around her shoulders and turned to go downstairs. But he caught her by the arm and pulled her back against him, planting his mouth over hers in a possessive kiss.

  She gasped and then softened against him, her mouth melting over his in a harsh, painful soldering of souls. Whatever they were playing with was going to hurt them incredibly, but she was somehow happy he couldn’t walk away either.

  “I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely, pulling away. But the next moment, he was taking her mouth again, like he had to taste her. Like he couldn’t be away. He licked along her lower lip, making her open, and then licked inside her, exploring gently and fervently every bit of her.

  He pulled back and leaned down, resting his forehead against hers. “Damn it. I have a job. I’m not the captain here, but I still have things to do. Tell you what. My days are mine. My nights are yours. It’s a shameless thing to offer, but something tells me you feel like me. That anything is better than nothing.”

  “And at the end?” she asked, knowing the answer but wanting him to say it.

  “We walk away, grateful for what we had, but neither regretting nor blaming the other.”

  But you’re my mate, she wanted to say. But there was no point. Mate or not, she had her own reasons they couldn’t be together. He could ask her the same, and she’d be the one who said no. He was right. This was the only option. No quarter. No begging.

  She kissed him as her answer. Their relationship could be as silent as the night, and she could still have other fun during the day. It was a compromise, but she’d have to accept it.

  After she crept away from him and quietly back to her bed, it took her hours to fall asleep. She couldn’t stop picturing what they’d done in the dinghy and the pain she’d seen in his eyes when he told her what they couldn’t have.

  * * *

  The next morning when Wilson knocked on Kim’s door, she was totally unready to wake up. They were going to another site to snorkel and then to stingray city, a place where tourists could swim with rays, and then they would be heading back to the hotel.

  Not that sex in a dinghy hadn’t been nice, but she sort of looked forward to what Sebastien could do to her in a fancy suite or on the beach. She grinned as she told Wilson to go ahead without her and rolled groggily out of bed to get changed.

  She pulled on her swimsuit and went up on deck in search of delicious coffee to keep her awake. Instead, she was greeted by the delicious sight of Sebastien, wide back revealed as the wind whipped his thin white shirt in the wind. As usual, he was at the helm and seemed completely at home there. Bart was over by the small counter where they’d set up breakfast. He gave her an apologetic look and nodded toward Sebastien. She was guessing mere orders couldn’t keep him from taking control.

  She wanted to go over to Sebastien, ask about the day, talk to him. Just be near to him. But he’d said his days were his and his nights were hers, and that worked well enough for her that she hated
to mess it up at all.

  So she resisted the urge to go over there and went to sit by Wilson instead. He was wearing a hot-pink shirt with a surfer logo on it. He seemed younger than her, in his mid-twenties, though it could just be his demeanor. His blond, shaggy hair gave him a boyish look.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, eyeing her suspiciously. “You seem super tired.”

  I was being ravished by the captain all night. No, that wouldn’t work. “I didn’t sleep well.”

  “Not used to being aboard a boat?” he asked, shoveling scrambled eggs into his mouth.

  “No,” she said. “Don’t get a lot of chance for that in New York.”

  “I didn’t know that’s where you were from,” he said. “Tell me about it.”

  But even though she was usually friendly and open to talking about herself, she felt just a little too emotionally drawn to deal. “I’m not really in the mood. Tell me about you instead.” Then she could tune out or listen as she wanted to.

  “I’m from New York as well. My family’s fairly prominent there.”

  “Oh?” she asked. “What do they do?”

  He shook his head. “Naw, don’t make me talk business.”

  She rolled her eyes and took a sip of coffee from the cup Bart handed her. Wilson had been the one to bring up his family but then didn’t want to answer questions about them? Her eyes strayed to the handsome captain, then darted back to stare at the ocean beyond the boat.

  Her whole body seemed focused on the next time she could be with her mate. Her bear growled beneath the surface. She didn’t know what to do to act normally, so she tried to talk to Wilson once again.

  “So what do you like to do?” she asked. “What brings you to the Caribbean?”

  Wilson grinned. “That’s two questions. What do you want me to answer first?”