Bear to the End (Bear Claw Security Book 5) Page 5

How did she really feel about him? Had she just felt awkward when he’d told her his feelings and had to say something back to be polite? That was the last thing he wanted.

  He needed to know just how she felt so he could know how to win her fully.

  When the pizza was cooking and the timer was on, he came over to sit on the floor at the foot of her couch. She was reading a magazine (or at least pretending to), and he didn’t want to bother her.

  She shut it and tossed it aside with a huff, then leaned over to stare down at him. Her dark curls fell over her face; her brown eyes blinked at him curiously. “I just have one question.”

  “Shoot,” he said casually. He would answer anything for his mate.

  “When you say you liked me from the moment you met me, how did you know?”

  He cocked his head and thought about it. “I guess sometimes you just know.”

  She exhaled. “And then sometimes you think you know and you turn out to be totally wrong.”

  He turned around so he could face her. She avoided his gaze, and he could tell she was hurting again. “I’m sorry if I’m bringing up painful things for you.”

  “No, it’s good for me to talk about it. I haven’t had a lot of chances to. Just been working. But if I can’t talk about it to my bodyguard, who can I talk about it with?”

  He nodded. Even if he wanted to be so much more than a bodyguard, he’d let her call him whatever made her comfortable.

  “Not that that’s all I see you as,” she said nervously. “I mean… Gosh, I’m messing this up. I guess I’m saying I feel really good about you, too, but I’m worried that after my last judgment call where men are concerned turned out to be bad, I can’t know if I’m choosing the right way this time.”

  He let out a pent-up breath. “What if you didn’t make a bad choice? What if you made the best decision you could based on what you had? If someone is just a dang good liar, you’re going to get tricked.”

  She sighed. “Then how do I make sure it doesn’t happen again?”

  He folded his arms. “I guess you have a good point. But I just don’t want you to think it was all your fault. I mean, he could have just been a good liar. Or he could even have been good and then chosen to be bad. We all have choices. It’s all on him that he chose to hurt you. I don’t think it means there’s anything wrong with you.”

  She blinked at those words. She hadn’t realized how long she’d been carrying a silent belief that she was just destined to have shitty things happen to her or only attract shitty men.

  Maybe there were red flags where Clay was concerned. But then again, would anyone else have seen them? She’d done the best she could, and it had turned out bad. It didn’t mean it always would.

  “I guess if you’re scared, then you just go slow and allow yourself time to feel comfortable,” he said. “I can go as slow as you like.”

  The timer on the pizza dinged, and he stood to get it and serve it on plates. When he came back, he handed her a plate, and they both ate in silence. It felt great to eat something warm after a day that had been so cold.

  The rain was still pittering outside, tapping her window in a way that was soothing and rhythmic.

  “I love the rain,” he said, looking toward the window.

  Her heart thumped at the sight of his handsome profile. When he was looking away, she felt the safest studying him. And when she did, he lit her up all the way to her fingertips.

  She didn’t want to go slow. She didn’t want to be careful. She just wanted to trust she’d never felt this way about Clay. Her inner animal had never cried for him like this. She’d never been instantly wet for him like this.

  He looked over at her, his blue-eyed gaze sharp, as if he sensed the change in the air. “You okay?”

  She nodded tightly.

  He went back to eating his pizza, but she could sense he was feeling the tension, too. He was being a gentleman, but she knew with him being a red-blooded male and a shifter, he was affected by her pheromones, by the craving in the air.

  He’d already admitted to wanting her, too.

  If one of them was going to speed things up, it would have to be her. He had an admirable sense of control, and he’d never rush things knowing what she’d been through.

  But she felt it would be freeing. Finally being with someone who wasn’t Clay. Finally owning her own body again. Finally falling in love, even.

  His breaths were more hoarse as he looked up at her, still fighting vainly to focus on dinner and failing. “Damn,” he said quietly.

  “What if I don’t want to go slow?” she gasped out.

  His jaw went slack and then taut. He ran a hand through his hair. She nearly lunged at him just then, to tackle him so she could be the one to do it.

  She wanted to be the one touching him. Owning him. Making him look only at her as she took him deep inside her.

  He coughed. “I… um… Are you sure?”

  She nodded.

  “I don’t know if we should—”

  She grabbed him by the shirt collar and yanked him forward, kissing him senseless as her tongue swept into his mouth, demanding and harsh. His hands gently came up to her shoulders and pushed her back.

  She growled, still hungry for him. She wasn’t rushing things. She wasn’t being stupid. She was a grown woman, and she knew what she wanted.

  She sent him an intent, angry glare of challenge, and he put up his hands.

  “I get it. I get it,” he said with a laugh, standing and scooping her into his arms to walk toward her bedroom. “Who am I to piss off a she-bear?”

  She felt her body practically purr at the acknowledgment she was going to get what she wanted.

  “But just promise me if you’re ever uncomfortable, if you’re ever worried, you’ll let me know,” he said.

  She nodded.

  “All right, then. Let’s go,” he said.

  A little tingle ran over her spine.

  Seven

  Mark looked down at his mate, unable to believe how content and happy she looked in his arms.

  She was practically purring as he carried her into the bedroom and set her on the mattress.

  She started pulling off her black jacket to reveal a white blouse underneath. Her breasts pushed at the buttons, and he longed to free them.

  He knew this was fast. He hadn’t planned on doing this yet, but it felt right. Plus, if it was what his mate wanted, it was basically impossible to say no.

  She was fully lucid. In fact, there was a strength there, a determination that made him proud of her. He sensed this moment was important for her, and he fully intended to make it as wonderful as possible.

  Her kiss had been wild and innocent and passionate, and he couldn’t wait to give her one back. Soft and slow and building. He crawled over her on the small bed and set his lips over hers, pushing her back into the cushions with his weight.

  She let out a little moan that lit the fire in him, and he deepened the kiss, opening her mouth and letting their tongues meld. She was desperate, but he calmed her, putting a hand up to her head and swirling his tongue to lead her in a slow, erotic dance as her body squirmed against him.

  He could scent her. Her wetness, her arousal. He’d been scenting it since they’d been eating, and it had nearly torn him apart not to do anything about it.

  But after all the control that had been taken from her, he refused to contribute to that.

  When he pulled back from the kiss, she looked over at the small bedroom window, breathing heavily. “It’s nice kissing to the rain,” she said breathlessly.

  It was nice kissing her, period. “Yeah, it is.”

  “You’re a good kisser,” she said. “I don’t remember it feeling like that before.”

  Damn straight. No one else should be able to kiss his mate like he could. He came down and took her lips again with a gentle but urgent pressure, increasing the heat between them, pulling back and then meeting her lips again, each time another soft promise.

/>   She moaned against him, and her arms came up to wrap around his body.

  He pulled back again and looked down at her beautifully swollen red lips, her pretty face, her wild hair in tendrils on the pillow. “What do you want next? I want you to do whatever you want.”

  She sighed, reaching up to touch his face. She ran a finger along his jaw as if she were studying the shape of it, and he suppressed a small shudder at how good his mate’s touch felt. “I don’t even know. I want everything. I feel like I’ve been starving and I’ve just been offered a buffet.”

  “I just want you to be happy,” he said. “But I also want to be careful. I don’t want to rush.”

  “I want to rush,” she said. “After three years of being so careful, I just want a rushed, passionate moment right now.”

  “I understand,” he said. He looked at her, wishing he could see under the blouse. It was dim in the apartment due to the small window and the dark storm clouds over the sky. “I wish I could see more of you.”

  She pulled her blouse around her. “No. Uh-uh. In fact, I’d prefer if we closed the blinds and it was even darker.”

  He snorted but got up to close the blinds. She watched him, and he couldn’t tell if she was disappointed he hadn’t fought her on it. Well, she was about to be surprised.

  He clicked on the bedroom switch, bathing them in warm, glowing light.

  “No,” she said nervously, wrapping her arms around her. “You’ll see how fat I am. Ugh, I didn’t think about the fact that I’d have to be naked. Can’t I just keep my clothes on?” Her tone was half-joking, but he felt rage bubble up in him that someone had clearly made her feel worried about her body.

  “Did your ex make comments about you?” he asked, trying to keep from looking too angry and scaring her off.

  She nodded, biting her full lower lip.

  The thought of anyone making her feel less than beautiful set him off inside. Looking at her, with her dark, beautiful skin, her shiny hair, her beautiful eyes, and that perfect soul inside, he couldn’t believe anyone would make her feel anything less than perfect.

  His eyes scanned over her body, thick and full and rounded all over. Literally perfect. He couldn’t have designed something better if he tried.

  “Stop looking,” she said, but he could tell from the way she squirmed that she was flattered.

  He reached for her blouse and started to undo the top button. Even if they didn’t do anything else, he wanted to show her how beautiful she was.

  “Wait,” she squeaked, but he gently pushed aside her hands and kept unbuttoning.

  She was breathing hard beneath him, and he saw her look up at him with a vulnerable expression that cut him to the core as he opened her shirt and exposed her in her bra.

  “Ugh, you’ll see my fat,” she said, trying to cover herself.

  “I see you,” he said. “You’re gorgeous.” Before she could stop him, he ran his hands down over her generous curves, feeling her waist, unable to stop a pleased groan from exiting his lips as his fingers grazed the softest skin he’d ever felt. “Damn, you’re so beautiful it’s driving me crazy. I could go just looking at you.”

  Her eyes widened, and then she relaxed and let out a little moan as his hands came up and cupped her breasts in her bra and then ran down her sides and caressed her tummy and hips again.

  She. Was. Perfect.

  “I… I can’t believe you look at me like that,” she said, biting her lip. “It’s… hot.”

  He grinned at her. “I’m glad. Because I can’t help looking at you like that. You’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “I’ve never been able to lose weight,” she said.

  “Good,” he said. “You look healthy and perfect to me.” He held her hands in his and lowered himself down to kiss between her breasts and then down to her belly button, where he swiped with his tongue naughtily. “Besides, shifters love curves. And shifter women tend to have them. You’re perfect. I wish you wouldn’t let anyone else make you think otherwise.”

  “It’s easier, having a gorgeous man like you looking at me like that,” she gasped out as his hand played at her waistband.

  “May I?” he asked.

  She closed her eyes and nodded, probably deciding that after going this far, she might as well go all the way. Plus, it meant she was trusting him with her body. Trusting him not to hurt her once he’d seen it all.

  He gently eased her pants over her butt and was shocked but pleased to see she was wearing black, lacy panties underneath.

  “Sassy,” he said. “So conservative over the top but a vixen underneath.”

  She bit her lip and looked to the side, nodding. “Yup.”

  He laughed and grabbed the edge of her panties with his teeth, pulling them back and forth to tease her before pulling them down.

  She gasped as he reached up to unclasp her bra, and in a few seconds, she was totally naked.

  And he was totally unprepared for how beautiful he was.

  He wanted to take a thousand pictures of this moment, in his mind where no one else could see them.

  The thought of anyone else seeing any part of her, ever, made him want to roar with rage.

  But instead, he just focused on her beauty, how she was his to protect, his to care for.

  “I don’t know what to do when you look at me that way,” she said, squirming and pressing her legs together.

  “Just relax,” he said.

  “I want to see you,” she said, reaching for his shirt.

  For a moment, he felt self-conscious. He wasn’t used to baring his body to a woman, and compared to someone like Hercules, he wasn’t quite as big, though he was very cut. Still, he hoped it wouldn’t be a disappointment.

  He pulled his shirt over his head and heard her gasp and looked down to make sure it wasn’t a bad gasp.

  Her hand was over her mouth, her eyes wide and appreciative. Then a smile spread over her face. “I’ve never seen muscles like that this close before.” He moved forward, kneeling over her so she could touch him.

  She closed her eyes and sighed as she ran her hands over his muscles, his square pecs, his hard abs. He felt everything tighten inside him at his mate’s appreciation of his body. He was just so glad she seemed to think he was half as hot as he thought she was.

  She played with his belt, and he pulled back. “Not yet,” he said, pushing away her hands.

  He leaned forward to gather her breasts in his hands, and she arched back, offering herself up to him. He kissed each, slowly and wetly, and she moaned again. Now that she was fully bared to him, she seemed to have abandoned the last of her fears and was just ready to feel pleasure.

  He squeezed her breasts lightly as he continued to kiss them, running his tongue over her nipples one after the other, making her writhe slowly beneath him. After that, he brought his mouth higher, kissing across her collarbone and the side of her neck, while his thumbs came up over where his mouth had been moments before, pressing the hardened tips of her nipples.

  What had started as a slow, sensual build was becoming an intense, erotic heat between them as he continued to explore and love her beautiful body.

  Never would Mark have been able to guess he would find his mate in a place like this, in an apartment downtown in the crappiest building he’d ever set foot in. Nor would he have guessed in this seemingly lost place fit for misfits and miscreants that he would find such a strong, beautiful woman that would shatter all his preconceived notions of the world around him.

  As he continued to caress her body, running his hands down past her breasts and up her thighs, letting his thumbs come daringly close to the center of her desire and sending a quiet quiver through her, she did the same, letting her fingers explore and touch wherever she wanted. All of it drove him wilder, more frenzied with want for her, as he maintained control and continued to covet her.

  As his kisses trailed down her stomach and lower, Charlotte gasped in pleasure and then stopped him.

/>   “I want you. Now,” Char said, her voice hoarse with need, her breath already starting to race. “Please?”

  “Anything for you,” he replied with a grin, coming off of her and standing, slowly removing his jeans and watching for even the slightest hint of hesitation from his mate.

  But the more he took off, the more he saw desire light her eyes. And by the time he’d removed his boxers, she seemed more than ready to eat him up.

  Wishing he could mate her but wanting to be responsible and not do anything she might not yet be ready for, he quickly removed a condom from his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans and slipped it on. But before he could come over her on the bed, she stood next to him and put her arms on his shoulders, turned his back to the bed, and shoved him ever so lightly.

  Mark didn’t resist, but instead lay down on the bed at her unspoken request as she came over him, her wondrous curves in delightful view.

  Whatever you want, mate.

  With a hint of shyness and a fiery determination, she positioned herself above his hard length. Then slowly yet with agonizingly perfect precision, she came down over him, joining them both together at the hips with one motion.

  Immediately, she gasped loudly, and her back arched, signaling her ecstasy at the feel of having him inside her, the sound sweeter than the best-trained philharmonic orchestras he’d heard across the world.

  For a moment, she just relaxed, catching her breath at the sudden and intense sensation of it all, while he held her hips, touching her gently and supporting her.

  While they were together, it was just the two of them, as if the world outside didn’t exist, save for the rhythmic pitter-patter of the rain on the lone window. As if nothing else mattered.

  To Mark, nothing else mattered in the world compared to Charlotte.

  Hopefully, someday she would feel the same about him.

  Once she was ready, Char began to move over him, enveloping him entirely with soft, wet heat that sent sparks through him and, based on her reactions, for her as well. While she did, his hands found her generous breasts, cupping them and squeezing them as she continued to thrust onto him, slowly and playfully at first, then with increased intensity and tenacity.