Benny Read online

  Each time, it felt like wet fire was moving through his nerves as her body melted into his. The slick friction was so intense, so tight, he knew that whatever was going to happen, it would be earth shattering.

  For a split second, he worried if he was going to lose control. But then Harley’s hand was on his cheek, pulling his attention back to her and centering him in the moment.

  It was adorable and sexy at the same time, seeing her try to watch him but being interrupted by her body’s response to the rhythmic thrusting as it forced harsh moans from her lips.

  Damn, she was beautiful.

  “Benny, I don’t think I can hold on for very long.” She was closing her eyes, pushing herself against him and forcing their bodies even faster together.

  “Then come with me,” Benny said, the muscles in his shoulders straining from internal exertion as his heart thumped quicker and quicker.

  He felt like he was floating, almost separate from his body, as he pumped into his mate, focused only on her pleasure. Everything was alive within, going haywire as he felt her reach the very peak of what Benny knew she could manage.

  Everything went still for a moment. The forest, the truck. Even the sky seemed to stop moving as he met her one last time, so lost he couldn’t imagine them being any closer than they were.

  And then Harley came, screaming her release and pulling Benny with her.

  A powerful, jolting sensation overtook him as he came inside her, cognizant of his partner’s release and lost within his own at the same moment. Harley’s nails dug into his skin, the bite of the pointed tips only further deepening him into the throes of ecstasy as he witnessed Harley’s entire body tense from head to toe.

  She threw her head side to side, mussing her hair while her pussy clenched around him in quick succession, forcing the breath out of Benny’s lungs like an incredible, pleasurable punch to the gut. Like there was no air left because his body couldn’t possibly come harder than it was, right in this moment.

  Benny got the impression that his release slowed first, followed by Harley’s. And as it did, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him and burying his head next to hers, holding Harley as every last bit of pleasure was wrung out of her.

  “Benny. Benny.” Her sweet words were barely a whisper, calling to him in the darkness.

  “I’m right here. I’m here,” he said, and her small arms wrapped around his back.

  “I love you so much, Benny.” Her chest was heaving, soft body pressing into him as he stayed inside her, wanting the moment to last forever.

  “I love you, Harley. I’ll love you forever.”

  And as the last throes of pleasure ebbed, leaving Harley in his arms, Benny heard one last insistent, forceful growl.

  Mate.

  Chapter 12

  Twenty years earlier…

  “Get over here right now, Benny.”

  Benny flinched as he heard his dad’s voice. He was trying to set up the tent. He’d been excited when his parents had wanted to go camping. It had been a long time since they did anything but drink and fight.

  And hurt him.

  He stood slowly, looking around him for any direction he could run in because he knew what it meant when his dad’s voice sounded like that.

  “Now, Benny.”

  The beating would be worse if he didn’t answer.

  He walked over to the picnic table where his dad and mom were sitting. His mom was already drunk, her eyes red and glazed, but he could still feel the burning hatred in them that was there whenever she looked at him.

  She took another swig of her drink and kicked out with her foot, hitting him in the shin. “Stupid, worthless, non-shifting piece of shit.”

  Benny dropped to a knee but pushed himself back up again. It did no good to react. Crying only made things worse.

  He’d ruined their lives. They always said so. Then he couldn’t even shift, which was a total embarrassment, according to them.

  Getting good grades, being liked by teachers, trying his best to keep things good at home—none of that mattered.

  A dark, unhappy part of him thought it wouldn’t matter even if he’d been able to shift.

  “Stop it,” his dad said, swaying slightly as he stepped forward. “It’s a dad’s job to discipline. Always been my job.”

  It hadn’t stopped Benny’s mom from dishing out the beatdowns as well.

  Benny flinched back, head lowered, as his father approached.

  His father was a big man. Towering. Muscular. Everything Benny wasn’t.

  He made Benny feel powerless, out of control, like he was helpless to everything in life, with no one to protect him.

  He’d given up on anyone loving him long ago.

  “Look at me, you little shit,” his dad said.

  Benny started to look up, but it wasn’t fast enough, and his dad caught him by the chin and struck him across the face.

  Benny reeled back, aching in his heart and his mouth, dizzy, and fell on his butt on the ground.

  While he was trying to figure out whether to stand or not, whether it would make his dad angrier, his dad stepped forward, making the sticks between them crunch ominously.

  He crouched, coming down closer to Benny’s level. His breath stank, and Benny fought not to reel back, because it was a sure way to make him angry.

  He’d been so stupid to be excited to go camping.

  He wished he were back in school.

  “I heard you break that tent pole,” his dad said.

  Benny’s face went white. He’d shoved it in the dirt, hoping his parents were too drunk to notice. Of course he wouldn’t be lucky enough.

  “Where is it?” His dad scowled, his face red and contorted. Benny hated when he looked like that, like he was looking for an excuse to hurt people.

  “I… I don’t know.” As long as it couldn’t be found, maybe he wouldn’t get in trouble. “I don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “Liar!” His dad yelled, backhanding Benny and sending him flying back into the mulch.

  Benny made no effort to move. His heart, and his face, felt too broken. It had been this way as long as he could remember. Why did anyone go on living when things were like this?

  Was every kid afraid to go home at night? Was every kid scared that their parents’ faces would suddenly go red and angry?

  Benny loved his parents, though he knew it was stupid because they didn’t love him back.

  He could only imagine a world where someone, anyone, cared if he lived or died.

  He felt his dad pick him up by the collar, holding him in front of his face. “I’m tired of you fucking up our lives. We were happy before you.”

  Benny doubted it but didn’t dare say so as his father sprayed spit in his face.

  “You can’t even shift. What a worthless pile of shit,” his father said, shaking him hard, making his aching cheek hurt worse. Benny felt like the world was blurring, even after his dad was done shaking him.

  Sometimes it felt like he wouldn’t survive.

  Sometimes he didn’t want to.

  “You tell him,” his mom said. “You tell that little brat. Taking all our money. All our time.”

  Benny wondered what they meant, since they never fed or spent time with him and he was always bullied for his clothes.

  Their trailer was always dirty.

  “Life would be good without you.” His dad snarled, swaying slightly. Then his eyes went unfocused, and there was a look in them Benny didn’t like at all. “Yeah. No one would even miss you.”

  Benny’s heart started pounding. Somewhere inside him, he could sense something was wrong. He was in danger. Something was going to happen. “Let me go,” he gasped out. “Daddy, please.”

  His father’s eyes narrowed on him. “I don’t have a son. My son would be able to shift.” He started toward the lake that was down an embankment from their campsite. “When you’re gone, we can try again. Get a real son.”

  His arm lo
wered, dragging Benny over the rocks and dirt while he kicked and screamed, looking to his mom for help.

  He almost broke loose, but his dad caught him again.

  Benny bit his hand, fighting for his life, scared by the thing inside him, but his dad knocked him in the head with his fist, dazing him and settling him down.

  Benny only began moving again when he heard the bubbling of the stream.

  His dad dragged him into the water and then paused, looking up at the sunlight. He looked over at his wife, and she stared back.

  But instead of looking worried for Benny, there was excitement in her drugged-up stare.

  “Bet you we’ll get a lot of sympathy,” she said. “After such a bad accident.”

  His father laughed. “Yeah. Losing a child. So hard.”

  Benny kicked, hoping to get free and swim away. He didn’t want his father to do anything to him here in the water. His heart was pounding out of his chest.

  His father cursed as Benny almost broke free of him. “Hey, Beth, get over here. Come help me hold him down. He’s fucking strong for a non-shifter.”

  His mom stood, tossing her bottle to the side where it landed with a clink. She hesitated for a moment, then wiped her mouth and walked forward, nodding.

  “Show that piece of shit what it means to ruin our lives,” she said.

  Benny could see so much hate in her eyes as she entered the water, glaring at him like he was the only thing wrong with the world.

  He kicked in earnest as his dad began to push him into the water.

  “Come on, Roy, he’s little,” she said, putting a hand on Benny’s head to help her husband. “Just push him down. Make it fast.”

  Benny’s eyes widened as he was shoved under the water. He prayed to any force that existed. He opened his mouth to scream for help and just took water into his lungs.

  They pushed him down far enough that his feet touched the bottom, and he kicked up, breaking the surface and trying to take a breath as he cried for help.

  His mother glared down at him. “Just shut up and die.”

  And then the two people he should have been able to trust most in the world pushed him down again.

  As Benny choked on more water, kicking and struggling, the entire world started to go black.

  This was it. This was dying. This was—

  Something was roaring in his ears, even above the sound of drowning. Something terrifying.

  Something was in Benny that he’d never felt before.

  All of a sudden, he was coming out of the water, but it was like he was watching a movie, not in control of himself.

  After a few minutes of blood and carnage that Benny would never forget for the rest of his life, everything in the clearing was still.

  “Benny, Benny, wake up.” Harley desperately shoved at his shoulder, making the mattress jolt as she tried to get his attention.

  He was asleep, but she hadn’t seen him like this before. Then again, she’d never slept by his side.

  When they were little, her parents had insisted on them being in separate rooms, and at night, Benny seemed to like his privacy.

  And then when they were older, it hadn’t been appropriate.

  She’d been woken up by the bouncing of the mattress, dreaming she was tossed on stormy seas.

  But she was glad she had woken up so she could help him.

  She wasn’t worried he would hurt her, even flailing like this.

  She caught hold of his face with both hands. “Benny, it’s me! Wake up!”

  To her relief, his eyes opened, looking around wildly until they focused in on her face.

  She couldn’t have felt more love for him than when his eyes met hers and his entire body softened as though he’d never been more relieved to see anyone in his entire life.

  She collapsed over him, holding him. “God, you worried me.”

  He let out a sigh, and she could feel his face damp with sweat against hers. “I’m sorry. Nightmare. Did I hurt you?”

  She pushed herself up to look down at him sternly but couldn’t stay that way for long. “Of course not.” She smiled at him, stroking his face and hoping to still calm him. “What happened? You looked so distraught.”

  He opened his mouth as if to tell her, then shut it, his brows lowering over troubled eyes.

  He pushed himself up to a seated position and sat forward, rubbing his hands over his face a little too hard.

  She grabbed his hands and lowered them, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.” His tone was adamant. “I’m just sorry I woke you up.”

  She sat back on her side of the mattress, a little put off that he was still keeping her in the dark on some things after everything they’d been through together. “I… Okay.”

  He looked up at her, and his jaw twitched. “It was about my childhood, but that’s all I’m going to say. I hope you can understand.”

  “Is it… is it always like that?”

  He shook his head. “No, that’s the first one in a long time.”

  She bit her lower lip. “Is it because of what we did?”

  “No, of course not,” he said. “Some things just come out when they want to.” He pushed himself off of the mattress, looking around the woods with narrowed eyes. “Anyway, we should head out.”

  She didn’t want to go. She just wanted to savor more time with him, but she wanted to go along with whatever would make him feel safe.

  She felt a little torn about how badly she wished she could understand what had happened to him. What could torture him in his nightmares like that?

  She’d known he’d come from a bad situation and that his parents were dead.

  She didn’t know any more than that.

  It had always been the most off-limit subject, and Harley had always respected that boundary.

  She would continue to do so now.

  As they pulled on their clothing and cleaned up the little camp they’d made in the truck bed, she decided to just focus on what had been good.

  She’d had everything she’d ever dreamed for when they’d come fully together. Just thinking of it made her heart ready to burst.

  He helped her down from the truck bed and, to her surprise, leaned down to kiss her.

  Her hand was on his chest, and she could still feel his heartbeat racing from his nightmare. But if she wasn’t imagining it, it seemed to slowly calm down as they kissed.

  When he finally pulled back, he looked like himself again, albeit a bit flushed.

  “You’re so beautiful, Harley. Thank you for being with me.”

  “The pleasure is mine,” she said. “Literally.”

  When he laughed, he filled her heart up, and she grinned as she put her hand in his and let him lead her to her side of the truck.

  As long as they were together, they could do anything.

  At least that’s what she hoped.

  Chapter 13

  After dropping Harley off, Benny didn’t feel like going home, so he went to the club to keep himself distracted.

  It was late morning, and when the nightmares were back, he felt more at home at the club anyway.

  Benny put on some music to keep his thoughts calm and wiped down the bar, though it wasn’t even dirty.

  Meanwhile, the bear in his head kept echoing, Mate.

  After his nightmare, that wasn’t exactly comforting.

  Yes, his bear was feeling closer to him, but it was almost like the closer it got, the more disgusted and afraid Benny was.

  It had made him a murderer, after all.

  Benny supposed his parents had deserved what they had gotten. They were more animal than human, and they could have hurt more kids if they had them.

  But still, Benny was very aware he had killed and that he had no control over his monster when shit went down. He had no idea how upset he would have to be in order for it to happen again.

  That was why he tried to put
on a façade of calm friendliness and patience. He couldn’t afford to get upset and risk hurting someone, however unlikely a chance there was.

  He also tried to be kind because he’d never forgotten what it had meant for Harley and her family to be kind to him.

  It was why he always tried to help Club Crimson, whether it was the main club or the secret after-hours one, feel like home.

  He tried not to turn anyone away, which was why when a tall man in a hooded coat appeared at the door, knocking despite the closed sign, Benny sighed and went to open the door.

  “Can I help you?” Benny subtly scented the air as he looked at the man in front of him.

  He was tall but didn’t smell like a bear or a wolf. He didn’t really smell like anything Benny had met.

  “I need to talk with you,” the man said in a low voice, nodding toward the bar, indicating that he wanted to come in.

  Benny felt a slight shudder as he stepped back, inviting the man in.

  As the guy looked around, still clad in that ridiculous floor-length coat, his head still shaded by the hood, Benny went over to the bar.

  “Can I make you something? I won’t make alcoholic drinks in the morning, but I can get you some orange juice or—”

  “That’s fine,” the man said, waving a hand. His fingers were long, finely formed, part of a large hand.

  Dragon maybe?

  Dragons tended to be tall, even taller than bears at times, but their features and bodies were more refined.

  The man sat at one of the tables, looking around him, then slowly lowered his hood.

  Benny stared at him as he poured a glass of orange juice, then walked around the bar to bring it over.

  The man had black hair, shiny and thick, though it was uneven and shaggy, almost as if it had never been cut.

  It partially shaded his face, due to not being pulled back, as the man looked down at his hands on the table.

  When Benny set down the juice, the man looked up at him, giving Benny a look at his features.

  Given how pretty he was, probably a dragon, though Benny had never met a dragon like this. They usually looked vital. Healthy.